April Showers

2012 Lists

2012-01-02T08:58:00.013-07:00

Books/Plays:

The Book Thief

Productions (seen, not acted in) & (titles in bold are those the girls saw with us):

~Student SLAM-Theatre Arts Conservatory
~The 39 Steps-Hale Center Theater, Orem
~Find and Sign-Pioneer Theatre Company
~The Adding Machine-U of U Department of Theatre

~Educating Rita-Pinnacle Acting Company

~Miss Evers' Boys-The Grand Theatre

~The Big Bad Musical-Woodstock Elementary w/Murray Arts (the girls were in this one)

Anticipated (a wish list of sorts--but there will be lots more):

February:

Red
Emma
Seven

March:

The Crucible
Xanadu
Rare Bird
The Third Crossing

April:

The Scarlet Letter
Course 86B in the Catalogue

May:

In the Next Room
Betrayal
Aliens: the Puppet Musical

June:

War Horse
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Les Miserables
To Kill a Mockingbird
The Merry Wives of Windsor
Mary Stuart
Titus Andronicus

July:

August:

September:

October:

November:

The Lion in Winter

December:

Movies (titles in bold are those the girls saw with us):

The Adventures of Tintin

Fright Night

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (can I say I saw this? I think I slept through 75% of it)
The Descendants
The Ides of March

2011 by the #'s

2012-01-02T08:30:00.003-07:00

Resolutions fulfilled: Some. But I'm thinking specific resolutions are not the way to go for me. See below.

Plays read: 9. My favorite: Sarah Ruhl's In the Next Room or The Vibrator Play. And yeah, I'm still pretty devastated that I didn't get cast. But it is one of the plays I'm most looking forward to seeing this year.

Books read: 8. My favorite: Catching Fire.

Productions attended: 57! The girls saw 24 with us, plus the 2 I was in--and they were in 2 themselves, plus there was one production that all of us were involved in. I saw so many great productions this year, it's pretty impossible to pick my favorite, so I'm going to mention my top 5: Spring Awakening (touring), The Glass Menagerie (Grand Theatre), The Diary of Anne Frank (Pioneer Theatre Company), The Drowsy Chaperone (Hale Center Theater, Orem), Les Miserables (touring). My favorite performance: Teresa Sanderson in Gypsy (Dark Horse Company Theatre).

Productions performed in: 3 (plus 1 one-night stand).

Movies seen: 32. I saw 8 of those in an actual cinema. My favorite: Hugo.

2011 was another wonderful year. So full and so busy, which is just the way I like it.

Full lists are here.

On to 2012! In which I make resolutions in a different way.

Make friends with 5:30 AM.
Read more, watch less.
Do more, sit less.
Eat less, but higher quality food.
Save/pay off more, spend less.
Give more, expect less.
Be less afraid.

I Fall in Love Too Easily

2011-09-06T08:30:00.002-06:00

Me too, Frank.

Which can make life complicated for an actor. But not in the way you're thinking. I fall in non-romantic love with just about everyone I work with on stage. I love getting to know them in the intense and intimate circumstances of rehearsal. I love having them around. I love being onstage with them and navigating our way through the run of a show together. I love spending time with them offstage. They become like family to me. And then the show ends. And we go our separate ways. A necessary part of the process--there's always another project to move on to, life to get back to. We always declare our intentions to stay in contact, to not let too much time pass before seeing each other again, or better yet, working together again. But, life gets in the way and promises are rarely kept, on my side too. These separations are so acute in the beginning, they feel like breakups. I find myself pining over my lost loves and wonder if I'm the only one that goes through it. And then I wonder what on earth I'm doing in this profession. And then I, too, move on to the next thing and fall in love again. With somebody new. Or with a different aspect of an actor I've worked with before.

Actually, as I think about it, maybe this belongs in the tally of things that are amazing about the actor's life. I get to be reminded, on a regular basis, of what it's like to fall in love. I get to find incredible new friends and deepen older friendships. Hi-diddle-dee-dee, an actor's life for me! Thanks for listening and helping me work through that.

More blogging elsewhere

2011-08-02T09:04:00.002-06:00

clicky on the picture

Lessons Learned 4

2011-04-20T08:27:00.007-06:00

Macbeth--There ARE some new things that can be done with Shakespeare. Also--not necessarily in reaction to the performance, just some things it made me think about--Lady Macbeth is the boss of that marriage. For a while. There is a point at which Macbeth actually becomes what she seems to want him to be and at that point he becomes scary. She loses her power then. And goes a little crazy (?). Maybe because the situation is completely out of her control, where she's used to having everything well-in-hand (?).

Sunset Boulevard--It's possible to be a completely fabulous leading lady and still be humble and gracious. Not that I'll ever have occasion to take a curtain call like that one, but still. A good thing to remember.

Proof--Someday I'm going to be old. And I'm going to have to give up acting. I fear the performance that will make me realize it's time to let it go.

The Odyssey--I will never be as good of an actor as mr. is. Not a chance.

Lessons Learned 3

2011-04-18T08:30:00.001-06:00

Anne Frank--An audience doesn't need a character to be what they expect. If the character is played with truth and actions are supported by the script, there's no reason not to challenge their expectations.

Equus--Sometimes naked just makes more sense. It just does.

Borderlands--It is strange to watch someone play a role you've played. It's different if it's a role hundreds of actors have played. When it's one only the two of you have played, it's just odd. Not good or bad, but odd. And there's more to be learned by that process than I can say in just a couple of sentences.

Hairspray--Just keep going. Mic problem, sound issue, whatever. Enthusiasm and energy will keep the audience with you no matter what.

Circle Mirror Transformation--Watching actors perform theatre games is ALMOST as uncomfortable for me as doing them myself. Why? Why do I despise theatre games so much? It's what made me realize I could never be an acting teacher. But I don't think that's why I hate them.

Lessons Learned 2

2011-03-25T14:30:00.000-06:00

Persian Quarter--Stillness is okay.

Lady Macbeth (script in hand)--Even in a seated, script-in-hand reading of a play, total commitment to the moment pays off. Just act.

tick...tick...BOOM!--A few great songs don't make a great musical. Even great performances of great songs can't save a script that is less than stellar.

Well--Direct address is incredibly effective if it's done right. If you have an easy, casual, manner with the audience. I don't think I've ever gotten it right.

10 Reasons Why Dating Actors is a GOOD Idea

2011-03-17T08:30:00.001-06:00

This article has made the rounds a little bit. You won't be surprised to hear that I disagree with just about every point he makes. In the comments section, there's a point by point rebuttal that I agree with, so I'm not taking that route. This is my counter-argument in the form of 10 things that I think are awesome about actors. You should know that none of this is about me flattering myself that I'm eminently datable. This is from the point of a view of a woman (me) who has many many many actor friends, who dated her fair share of actors, and ended up marrying one. You should also know that many of these points apply to GOOD actors, not to ALL actors.

1. Actors are emotionally open. They have to be in order to do what they do on stage. If they put up a wall so the world can't see their emotions they can't have that wall conveniently come down only while they're on stage. They walk around with their emotions on their sleeves. Which means, in spite of the fact that they're actors, you'll always know what they're feeling. At least when they're in real life with you.

2. Actors can make even the most mind-numbing, derivative, badly written children's book seem beautiful and thrilling. Your kids will grow up knowing what a good story sounds like, enjoying reading, growing an enormous vocabulary, and will be good storytellers (possibly even good actors) themselves.

3. Actors think outside the box. All the time. They are creative people who spend their time/energy creating characters and imagining how those characters act and react in the given circumstances of the script. That creative-thinking is applicable and valuable in so many areas of real life, including parenting and many different kinds of "day jobs".

4. Actors do their job on stage in front of lots of people. Which means you get to go into a theatre with a bunch of strangers and watch your significant other do amazing things. And you get to secretly listen to the wonderful things those strangers say about your significant other. And you get to admire them for all kinds of new reasons.

5. Actors usually surround themselves with an enormous crowd of other interesting, entertaining people. Which means any parties, dinners, drinks-after-the-show you attend with your significant other will be the most fun you've ever had.

6. Actors usually know they're not going to ACTUALLY make a living acting, so they gain lots of other skills: cooking, waiting tables, bookkeeping, grant-writing, non-grant-writing, photography, clerical work, bartending, catering, computer programming, teaching. Not to mention the other theatre skills they acquire: theatre management, stage management, costume design, directing, lighting design, electrics, etc. All of these skills are great for finding work that DOES pay.

7. Actors frequently change their looks for a part: dye their hair, grow a beard, lose or gain weight, etc (see above for a case in point). So, chances are you'll have yourself a brand new lover for a time when your significant other is working on a particular role. Hey, there's nothing wrong with a little something fresh and new!

8. Actors are students of human nature. Which means they're very good at putting themselves in someone else's shoes. In fact, they will probably understand you better than you understand yourself.

9. Actors are brave. They go on auditions on a regular basis, which, if you haven't done it, is neither easy nor fun. It's terrifying. Yet they do it. Over and over. What's more, they get up in front of an audience and risk making utter fools of themselves night after night, not knowing what strange things might happen, how the audience will behave, etc. See? Brave.

10. Actors do a lot of their own dramaturgy. So they're always studying up on something new--a period of history, a country, a city, a real-life person, a language, a culture, a playwright, you get the idea. So you will never ever ever run out of things to talk about.

Please feel free to add more awesome things about actors to this list. :)

Down the Ladder

2011-03-09T17:00:00.001-07:00

MESA VERDE. I've written, talked, and blogged about it an awful lot (video clips, links to radio interviews, blogs, preview articles, and reviews are all here). You might think I couldn't possibly have anything more to say on the topic. But I do. I lived with the character of Tabitha inside that kiva for almost 5 years. The experience was intense and amazing and difficult and lovely and complicated and almost heartbreaking and eye-opening and strange and strangely personal.

But what I'm thinking about most now as I try (and fail) to leave it behind me is this weird human capacity to put things in little boxes. Thank goodness. Life would be pretty impossible for actors if we couldn't put our real life, real emotions, real problems in a little box and leave it outside the door of rehearsal so that we can focus on somebody else's problems. And vice versa. If I had had to walk around in real life with Tabitha in my head...things would have been pretty bad for my marriage and family. And I guess I was only partly successful with that last part. My real life is a lot easier to put in a box because it's pretty ordered. mr. handles everything beautifully when I'm not at home. So, I can comfortably stop thinking about that while I rehearse, knowing that when rehearsal's over all of it will still be there, safe and sound. Tabitha was kind of not like that. She got a little bit into my real-life habits. I withdrew a tiny bit. But not because I'm some sort of method actor. I think it's more because when you're trying so hard to get inside the skin of a character, to get them right, it's hard to shake them completely. Especially when they're well-written. You can slough it off enough to function, to do what you need to at work and home. And when something really requires your complete focus, it's definitely possible. But in off-guard moments, it's hard to not think about your character, run through the play in your head--moments you still don't have quite right, questions you're still trying to figure out. I'm confident there are still things I don't understand about Tabitha. Which is probably why she's still with me.

I'm also thinking about how lucky I have been to have had this season with Plan-B. Two unbelievable experiences. One of the scripts I got to know and love for a long time before I got to do it, the other I learned to love quickly and intensely. One cast I got to know over time, the other I got to have a short but unforgettable weekend with before heading into rehearsal. Both SHE WAS MY BROTHER and MESA VERDE had this atmosphere of sacredness that I loved. And I have to correct what I said in one of our newspaper interviews, the two characters I played aren't really very different at all. Both are fiercely independent women, caretakers and take-chargers. They are both hard on the outside but hide their fear and vulnerability with either bluster or humor and sarcasm. Both are skeptical of non-Western, non-traditional ways of thinking. And both are intensely lonely. Both need someone else to chip away at their veneer in order for them to see the world and themselves with more gentle and forgiving eyes. I think when I answered that they were polar opposites I was answering for Tabitha. I think she'd hate to think that she's like Tullis in any way.

In all honesty, I hope I don't ever completely shake these two characters. They've taught me a lot and I've loved spending time with them, however short or long that time might have been.

Once More--I Blogged...

2011-02-21T16:41:00.003-07:00

...for somebody else. As did the two incredible actresses I'm working with. I am so lucky.

Click on the picture to go to our blog.

Lessons Learned

2011-01-31T10:33:00.004-07:00

I see a lot of theatre. I think that's been well-established. I also watch a fair amount of movies (on DVD) and dramatic television. Just to prove that it's not all for nothing, I'm going to start posting observations/things I learn about acting and theatre in general from all of this viewing. I don't write well enough, nor am I separated enough from the theatre community to write reviews. These aren't that. These are just things that I want to remember because I think they'll be helpful to me in my own theatre endeavors.

Spring Awakening--If that guy can put a mic stand back in it's "place" and dress the cord while monologuing his way into his suicide scene, I don't have any excuse for prop nonsense ever again. Apologies to any director who has had to deal with this nonsense from me. It will never happen again.

Black Comedy--If you're very precious about your body and/or physical comedy is not well-choreographed, pratfalls just aren't funny. The funniest thing in the world to me is somebody getting hit in the face with a frying pan, so I'm a pretty easy audience in this regard.

The Glass Menagerie--Simplicity is golden.

The Last Days of Judas Iscariot--Yelling doesn't mean you're more passionate about a thing, and it doesn't necessarily read that way to the audience. It's just louder.

2011 Lists

2011-01-17T10:00:00.076-07:00

Books/Plays:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
-play script- The Hit
Cornelia and the Audacious Escapades of the Somerset Sisters
-play script- The Third Crossing
-play script- Lady Macbeth
-play script- The Scarlet Letter
The Oracle of Stamboul
-play script-In the Next Room
Catching Fire
Mockingjay
The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place
-play script- The Pavilion
The Lacuna

Speak

-play script-The Lion in Winter
-play script-Educating Rita

-play script-Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune

Productions (seen, not acted in) & (titles in bold are those the girls saw with us):

~Spring Awakening-Broadway Across America
~The Glass Menagerie-The Grand Theatre
~Black Comedy-Pioneer Theatre Company
~The Last Days of Judas Iscariot-U of U Department of Theatre
~The Persian Quarter-Salt Lake Acting Company
~Lady Macbeth-Plan-B Theatre Company (Script-in-Hand)
~Mesa Verde-Plan-B Theatre Company (I was in it, the girls saw it)
~tick...tick...BOOM!-Dark Horse Company Theatre
~Well-Pygmalion Theatre Company
~A Little Bit of Everything-Theatre Arts Conservatory
~The Diary of Anne Frank-Pioneer Theatre Company
~Equus-Westminster Players
~The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe-Parable Productions (the girls and Mark were in this one)
~Borderlands-Plan-B Theatre Company
~readings of four short plays about hiv/aids-here & now-Plan-B Theatre Company
~Hairspray-Hale Center Theater, Orem
~Circle Mirror Transformation-Salt Lake Acting Company
~Macbeth-Utah Shakespeare Festival (Shakespeare in the Schools Production)
~Sunset Boulevard-Pioneer Theatre Company
~Proof-Pinnacle Acting Company
~The Good Body-Pygmalion Theatre Company
~True West-Wasatch Theatre Company
~Urinetown-The Grand Theatre
~The Odyssey-meat & potato theatre
~Seussical-Hale Center Theater, Orem
~Les Miserables-Broadway Across America
~Ride Me: a play with Cruel Intentions-New Works Theatre Machine
~Gutenberg! The Musical!-Plan-B Theatre Company at the Egyptian Theatre
~Rent-Pioneer Theatre Company
~A Midsummer Night's Dream-Utah Shakespeare Festival
~Richard III-Utah Shakespeare Festival
~Romeo and Juliet-Utah Shakespeare Festival
~Saturday's Voyeur 2011-Salt Lake Acting Company
~Gypsy-Dark Horse Company Theatre
~The Hit-Hale Center Theater, Orem
~The Tempest-Around the Globe Theatre Company
~Henry IV, Part 1-Salt Lake Shakespeare

~Ruined-People Productions
~Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat-Herriman Arts Council

~ A Doll House-Plan-B Theatre Script-in-Hand Series (Seconda was in this one)

~ The Mysterious Happy Life of Brown Bag-Art Access and Pygmalion Theatre Company

~The Drowsy Chaperone-Hale Center Theater, Orem

~Next to Normal-Pioneer Theatre Company

~Iphigenia in Tauris-Classical Greek Theatre Festival

~Waiting for Godot-The Sting and Honey Company
~Romeo and Juliet-Weber State University Department of Performing Arts

~Some Men (Celebrity Reading)-Pygmalion Theatre Company/Utah Pride Center

~The Wizard of Oz-The Grand Theatre (the girls were in this one)

~Lady Macbeth-Plan-B Theatre Company (I was in this one, Mark and the girls saw it)
~The Tempest-Pioneer Theatre Company
~God of Carnage-Salt Lake Acting Company
~Standing on Ceremony-Plan-B Theatre Script-in-Hand Series

~Beauty and the Beast, Jr.-Bonneville Junior High School
~The Sunshine Boys-Pinnacle Acting Company
~Last Lists of My Mad Mother-Pygmalion Theatre Company
~(a man enters)-Salt Lake Acting Company
~Bye Bye Birdie-Cottonwood High School Theatre Department
~Annie-Pioneer Theatre Company

~How I Became a Pirate-Salt Lake Acting Company

Movies (titles in bold are those the girls saw with us):

Tangled
Howl's Moving Castle
True Grit
The Town
Chicago
The American
Red
The Social Network
Catfish
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Easy A
Revolutionary Road
Rodrick Rules
The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Sophie's Choice
Black Swan
The King's Speech
Angels in America
Monte Carlo
Gulliver's Travels
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
Rango
Sucker Punch (actually only watched about 15 minutes, slept through the rest)

Moneyball
X-Men: First Class
The Muppets

Thor
Kings of Pastry

Captain America

Super 8

Chipwrecked

Hugo

2010 by the #s

2010-12-31T10:30:00.000-07:00

Resolutions fulfilled: 2 out of 7. Yow. Not a very successful year in that regard, I guess. Most of my resolutions were waylaid by either continued health problems (which have now been resolved), or by lifestyle choices including working full time and working in the theatre. But, I did accomplish a lot this year--including getting that full time job, and those theatre roles, so it has been a good year in a lot of ways.

Plays read: 10. My favorite: Eric Samuelsen's translation of A Doll House. Although, I was deeply, deeply disappointed, in fact, angered by the production of it that I saw.

Books read: 18. My favorite: The Lonely Polygamist.

Productions attended: 53! For the mathematically challenged, that's one a week (plus one!). If you think that's not a great investment of time and money, you haven't been to the theatre lately. But I wouldn't give it up, it's one of the reasons I love my life. The girls saw 16 of those with us, plus the 2 I was in--and they were in 2 themselves--also astonishing as I think most adults don't see that many live performances in a year. My favorite production: HAIR at Egyptian Theatre Company. My favorite performance: Audra McDonald in 110 in the Shade at Hale Center Theater, Orem.

Productions performed in: 2 (plus 5 one-night stands/benefits/readings)

Movies seen: 51. I saw 7 of those in an actual cinema. My favorite: Scott Pilgrim vs the World.

So, yeah, 2010 was a pretty good year. Surprising events, some good, some bad, all kept us on our toes. We had some incredible family vacations, some wonderful theatre experiences, and lots of good times with family and friends. I find myself at the end of another year, so thankful for the amazing people and opportunities I have in my life.

Full lists are here.

On to 2011!

More baking and blogging.
Read more than I did this year. I only read 3 nonfiction books and none of them were the ones I've really been meaning to read for some time. I'm going to set my nonfiction goal at 4 this year.
I have no idea at this point what will be happening in local theatres for the season starting Fall 2011. I hope to get cast in at least 1 show--preferably at Plan-B. I also have no idea when Mark and I will realistically be able to start producing theatre ourselves. Now that I'm working full time, things are more complicated. It is important to us. We will do it at some point. Hopefully in the next 3 years.
Perpetual dieting/fitness resolution.
I want to spend more time and effort on keeping up our house and yard. With Mark. It's not work that we enjoy. If we didn't have children, we would live in a condo downtown and not have to worry about yardwork. But, we made the choice to buy this house with this enormous yard, and now we need to actually start taking responsibility for it.
A more realistic financial goal: pay down 50% of our debt and put a little money aside for...oh, you know, those plumbing accidents that happen when you're least financially prepared for them.

She Was My Brother

2010-11-24T10:00:00.001-07:00

I was in this play. I wish so much that everyone could have seen it.

So much coverage about it, though, if you read all of this, you might feel like you did see it. Blog entries, preview articles, reviews, pictures, video all here.

And this is my personal experience...

Journey to the Middle Place (and back again)

It’s difficult to figure out where to begin writing about my experience working on Plan-B’s production of SHE WAS MY BROTHER. Do I begin with the story of the harrowing day of my audition? Do I begin before that when I first read the script? Do I begin with our road trip to Zuni? The timeline is jumbled in my memory, so maybe I’ll just let it be jumbled as I write about it.

Being in Zuni is like being in outer space. Time is distorted: a day and a half seems like a week and a world away. I don’t know if it’s because of the isolation, the silence, the massive amount of things I want to see, absorb, and learn about, or just because it’s not home.

Jerry is the perfect director for this play. He’s not overly sentimental and can spot falsehood a mile away. From a bullet train. He insists on truth in every moment. The fact that he’s not necessarily gentle about that insistence is fine for me. I know there are actors who require more careful handling, but I prefer candor and bluntness. I guess because I know that when he gives a compliment, that too is sincere.

Tullis is not an easy character for me. I feel that maybe I’m like her in some ways. But not in the ways that would really inform my portrayal of her. At the first read-through Jerry and Julie seem to have a lot to say to me about her. That makes me nervous because they don’t seem to have much to say to either Jay or Joe. I’m confident this is because I’m the one who needs to step up my game and prove why I was cast.

I think it’s telling that I was completely distracted during my audition. I was not counting on being cast in this show. I loved the play and I loved the idea of working with Joe and Jay, but I certainly didn’t think it was a real possibility, so I didn’t get too attached to it. I think that’s why I was cast. I had more pressing things on my mind, but I was relaxed about the audition itself; open and not tied to a particular interpretation of the character. I need to remember that for future auditions.

Joe is a silent enigma. I adore him as a person, and I love being on stage with him. I always feel like we are in exactly the same moment with one another. Sometimes when you’re on stage with another actor there is a sort of miscommunication, a crossing of the wires. From the audience it feels like the actors are in different plays. I don’t know what the audience’s experience is with me and Joe on stage, but I know that from where I stand (or sit) I feel like there’s a tiny string connecting our minds and keeping us on the same wavelength.

I realize much too late in the process that I probably should have done some real research into dialects from North Carolina. A generalized “Southern” is sort of a cop-out, isn’t it?

I hope the audience is able to understand what happens with Tullis. How she changes. Some nights I’m not sure they’re “getting it”. They laugh at strange moments, or I just can’t feel them. That sounds very touchy-feely. And I guess, in a way, it is. But it’s one of the things I love about performing live; being able to feel the audience there with me, going along with the flow of the play, and being able to guide them in the right flow. But some nights they’re just not with me. And there’s not a whole lot I can do about that.

As difficult as it was for me to let go of the opening monologue that was originally in the script, I'm glad I start the play out with something very active. I can funnel all my nervous energy into the act of packing bags, folding socks, etc. It's a great way to channel that away from me so that I can get on with the business of the play.

I think about Jimmy and his family every night before the show. Such amazingly generous and open people. Jerry gave me a fetish made by Jimmy. Every night that little bear looks up at me and I think of him. It’s almost time for Shalako.

There is good fodder for my imagination in this play. Generally, I think about what happens in the moment before I enter to give me a context for what I’m about to do on stage. In this play, I think more about what happened the day before, the week before, the month before. Time is expanded in this world, travel takes so much time and some of my entrances come at the end of a long period of travel. So, before I make an entrance I tend to think about what I imagine has happened over the past several days, which opens up a lot of possibilities. I especially like to imagine what might have been the conversation between Tullis and Lamana before I come to the pueblo for that last scene with Wilson.

Jerry has this amazing way of making every cast that he directs feel like they are the most special people, that this production of this play in this moment in time is completely unique and wonderful. It's an incredible gift.

Once we’re in run-throughs, I find that I can’t watch the last scene. I have to stay backstage while the guys do it. It’s too much. It’s heartbreaking. During our last performance, I can barely even stand to listen to it. I’m over-emotional already at the thought of putting the play behind me.

It takes so much energy and focus to perform this play, especially for such a short and relatively simply staged production. Every word and every silence has to be precise. Every movement has to be precise. It’s hard to be completely present and 100% focused for even 10 minutes at a time, but it’s necessary. I find that the thing that helps me maintain it when my mind wants to wander is to really look my scene partner in the eye and say to myself in my head, “what are you trying to tell me?” It forces me to listen to them rather than thinking about what I have to do or say next. And then my lines just come out when they’re supposed to. Because the play is all there in my head, if I trust myself and get out of the way of it.

It’s strange to have to confront some of my own prejudices in relation to this play. I’m a pretty open person, but I haven’t always been. I’ve said and done things that were wrong. Intolerant. Judgmental. Every person I meet and every experience I have is stripping that away. I think.

It’s such an unusual experience to have been able to visit the very place where this play takes place. Especially because it is so much about that physical space. I can stand on the set and look out and know exactly what I would be looking at in the real world version of that space—the top of the Mission in one direction, Corn Mountain behind it, the plaza below, the dwellings on the other side of the plaza, the open land outside the area of the pueblo, the clouded sky as a storm rolls in. And I also know what the place smells like and sounds like. It is so complicated to try to convey a sense of place when you’re in an imaginary setting on stage. The experience of being in Zuni is priceless, and key to us being able to recreate that for the audience.

Julie is like god. Really. She is the creator of the story, the world we inhabit every night. She has created something that is so beautiful. It’s a privilege to speak the words she has written. I try every night to get them all in there and to do them justice.

I want to walk like Tullis. I want to “stomp through the swamp” as Wilson says of her. But there isn’t a whole lot of walking to do in this production or, for that matter, a whole lot of room to do it in. I have to find that feeling of stomping through the swamp in the way I use the rest of my body. Ultimately I’m not sure if I’m successful.

Cheryl’s sound design brings everything together perfectly. All the other pieces were there, but once the sound came in, they all just locked into place. The violin music is sad and beautiful, the Zuni songs are haunting, the atmospheric sounds bring just the right element of place. That, to me, is pure magic. I don’t know how she did that.

In spite of my initial trepidation, I’m glad we had audiences early and often throughout the process of rehearsing this play. Some of them were friendly audiences, beaming positive energy towards us, others were just shy of hostile, and were there for an entirely different reason. The fact is, it prepared me (and us) for what it would be like to actually do the show in front of people. That took some of the nerviness out of the first few “real” performances, because we’d already spent some time rehearsing in front of an audience.

Jay’s Wilson is the perfect foil for my Tullis. He dishes it out when he should and he cowers and takes it when he should do that. My favorite moment between us is one I don’t think the audience even gets to see completely. My last line is “She is a lovely teacher, as you yourself said. And I, like you, am a diligent student.” When I say it I’m looking down at Jay and his face is turned fully upstage to look at me. Something is happening between us. We’re communicating without words, and it’s just for the two of us, and I love it. I love that my journey within the play ends there. And I love that every performance we both were committed to a moment that we didn’t even necessarily share with the audience.

I wish everyone could see this play. This production of this play.

I find that I need a lot of evidence, after the fact, to convince myself that a thing that happened was really real. It’s especially true for the process of working on this play. It’s so focused and intense for such a concentrated period of time and then it’s just…gone. Never to be seen or experienced again. I both love and hate that about live theatre. And it’s amazing how quickly I am able to just go back to regular life. I think I’m changed, though. I think I’m more thoughtful, more careful, more observant, more connected, more silent. I hope so.

Different=Amazing

2010-11-10T15:13:00.003-07:00

My family is performing in this event this weekend. Along with a host of incredibly talented people. Not to mention the talented people who are making the event happen. All different and amazing people. Just like you. Click on the image above to visit the website and get more information about the event.

When it Rains...

2010-11-02T08:35:00.005-06:00

...it causes a plumbing problem that results in water damage in 3 rooms of your house,

makes half a tree fall into your backyard,

makes your oldest child slip on the playground and give herself a concussion, and causes a drain backup in your basement that destroys some of your childhood treasures.

I'm certain (hopeful?) that the universe is just making sure we're appreciative of the comforts we have before it gifts us with something even more wonderful. I know it's coming.

While I wait, I will enjoy the solid (for now) roof over my head and these treasures that live under it with me:

And I will also rethink my basement as a storage solution.

Braceface: A Tale of a Girl and Her Teeth

2010-09-07T20:05:00.009-06:00

When she was born she had no teeth (thank goodness!)

When she finally grew some they looked just like the teeth on this jack o'lantern.

All her baby teeth grew in perfectly straight and perfectly touching (the kiss of braces death).

Then, one by one, her baby teeth fell out.

And one by one, in every possible direction, her adult teeth grew in!

So the dentist and orthodontist decided something had to be done, and they pulled a couple of her baby teeth that hadn't come out yet.

And after a while her teeth were straight again, but...

There was still not enough room for all of the teeth that were yet to come. So, BRACES.

This poor girl. I have no idea what she's going through. I never had braces. I can't even imagine how uncomfortable it must be. But she's brave. And tough. She's dealt with a lot of doctors and surgeries and whatnot. But for now, pudding is about all she can handle.

I Blogged...

2010-08-02T18:49:00.002-06:00

...for somebody else. With my husband. Go here.

Conversations ABOUT Seconda

2010-07-30T09:00:00.001-06:00

A Facebook exchange between me and my sister:

Elizabeth Catherall Harmon: Having a good week but excited for Hubby to come home tonight! I took some time off work so he could go out of town. Had my sweet nieces over all week, the boys have loved it! Worked on lots of Scout stuff. Tomorrow we leave for a reunion at the cabin. Can't wait to see everyone! :)

April Fossen: They were sweet?! Wow! I'm sending them over more often.

Elizabeth Catherall Harmon: I love having them here! O is the only one who will play Seconda's make believe orphan game, so she plays with him ALL DAY LONG! (Yes, that's right, she thinks she's been orphaned! Haha!) And Prima and P are hilarious together. We miss living so close to you guys!

April Fossen: Bahahaha! Oh, dear. I shouldn't laugh at that.

Elizabeth Catherall Harmon: It really is funny. She assigned O a character named Thomas Trackford. And she speaks with a British accent while they're playing. It's pretty entertaining.

What's funny about this is that Seconda has been sitting in on our An Ideal Husband rehearsals this summer. And has obviously been listening pretty well. There's a character named Tommy Trafford who we all talk about, but is never seen on stage. And, naturally, we all use British accents. The orphan thing...considering that they were sent away from home for a week...I guess that's understandable.

My Ideal Husband

2010-07-16T11:07:00.005-06:00

This project has truly been a dream come true for me. I have gotten to work as an actor with my incredible husband as director. At last, I won't be the only one who knows what a great artist he truly is. I have never worked with him as a director; the last time he directed was in Chicago before we met. So, obviously I have never seen anything he directed either. But, I have always known he was a great director. There's something in the way he talks about theatre, about the way he talks to actors, about his level of creativity (especially in the face of budget constraints), about his level of preparedness, not to mention his level of intelligence. I always knew. And now you can see for yourself.

The Unfortunate Ones...

2010-06-13T09:10:00.005-06:00

...are the ones who don't live in a place as beautiful as this.

We had a thunderstorm roll through one evening last week and I ran outside to try to take some pictures of our incredible sky. Sometimes if one of these storms rolls through when the sun is in just the right place, the sky gets this strange brownish glow. (Which isn't done justice in this picture because I don't know how to take pictures of clouds and light)

I turned around to go back in the house and discovered this

A double rainbow (we could see the whole arch of both) that was brighter than any rainbow I've ever seen. It was so fantastic we ran upstairs and got the girls out of bed (we had just gotten them there) to see it.

Click on this one so you can see it full size. There are at least 4 layers to this arch of the rainbow.

I'm awed sometimes when I look out my windows or drive around my neighborhood at how beautiful it is. We have mountains and trees and streams and wildlife in great abundance.

And I woke up this morning to find that this happened yesterday a few miles from where we live. (click the picture for a very sad article)

2010 Recital

2010-06-10T20:39:00.006-06:00

In case there's anyone out there who frequents here but not my Facebook...

here is Prima playing piano in her most recent recital:

It is also possibly her last piano recital. She has the option of participating in the school orchestra next year when she's in 5th grade and she wants to learn to play the violin. I think it's too much to expect her to deal with two instruments at once, so when she starts violin she will give up piano...at least temporarily. I hope not forever.

Surprise! TMI part 3 (the last installment?)

2010-06-09T10:56:00.004-06:00

About 2-1/2 weeks ago I had my ablation. I was hopped up on about 7 different kinds of medication, so my memory is slightly hazy, but I don't think I have any of the facts wrong:

The first thing my gynecologist discovered is that my fibroid had come out. Yes, you read that right. I hadn't felt anything significant going on, so I have no idea when it happened, or what caused it to happen. But when she looked inside me, there it was, still connected to my uterine wall by a stalk that went through my cervix. I think she was as surprised as I was. After saying something about the OR that made me panic, she twisted it and it came loose. I should have had mr. take a picture of it. The thing that has put us both through hell for the last 2 years. It didn't look anything like I imagined it would. It looked like a veiny ball of flesh with capillaries.

With that gone, the chances of the ablation being entirely successful are even higher. The ablation itself was no big deal. It was barely even uncomfortable. I have had days on my period over these past couple of years that were easily 100 times worse than that procedure. And it only lasted 11 minutes, just like they had told me it would.

I walked out of the office and went home to sleep the sleep of the dead.

So, now we move on. I'm still having a little bit of spotting, which is normal. But I should have had a period this week, and didn't, so that makes me think it worked. We'll see what my gynecologist says at my follow-up appointment next week.

Another surprise (and way TMI): sex doesn't hurt. It has been this way for so long, I think I sort of forgot that it's not supposed to feel that way. No pain. I feel like I have a whole new leash on life (tell me you got that reference).

Of course, my body has been ravaged in every way by that 2.5 cm beast and the beastly ways that various doctors have tried to help me deal with it. I'm heavier and in worse shape than I've been in since just after Seconda was born. I have no stamina. I have no strength. I have lost some flexibility (it's there in my joints, but I have a lot of stuff in the way of my joints doing what they want to). It will be a long road back, but I'm ready for it, physically, emotionally, mentally. That was a pretty difficult phase of my life. I think I aged about 10 years in those 2. Here I am on the other side, ready for what comes next. And, at least today, I'm so glad I didn't opt for the hysterectomy.

Discomfort Zone

2010-05-05T14:04:00.005-06:00

And the BANNED SLAMMED On 2010

PDA by Jenifer Nii

Teri Cowan and me

photo by Rick Pollock

SLAM. I've talked (and blogged) about it a lot (here and here).

I've always told people that one of the things I love about SLAM is how it feels like acting boot camp. If your acting technique has gotten rusty over the year or if you've gotten into bad habits, SLAM will knock it all out of you over the course of those 10 hours. Because there simply isn't time for anything other than the basics. There's no time to question whether you've made the right acting choice. There's no time to doubt yourself. There's barely time to learn your lines and your blocking and figure out how to tell the story of the script. The basics.

This year I learned something new about SLAM. There's no time to wallow in discomfort. The script I got this year (by the genius Jenifer Nii) required me to do the things I feel most uncomfortable with onstage; namely, singing and physical comedy. There was no time for me to do my usual, "yeah, I really don't sing", or try to worm my way out of the physicality. I had to jump in and go and leave it all on the stage, or the concept of the script simply wouldn't have worked. Did I succeed? Maybe a little bit, it's hard to know what works in the blur of the day. But I did it. I sang. I made bold physical choices and went as far as I could with them. My body was bruised and broken by halfway through the day. I was almost in tears by the time of our lunch break because I could feel my voice going (due to some sound effects I needed to make) and I wasn't sure I would hold up through performance. But I did. It was a hard year for me. Harder than my first year, where I was emotionally drained and had to be wiped off the floor by the end of the night. This was a different brand of "hard". And one that I'm not used to. I'm used to being vulnerable onstage and dealing with emotional fallout. Physical fallout--that's new.

But that's why I love SLAM. I love the challenge. I love starting out the day with no knowledge of what's about to happen to me. And throwing myself into it no matter how much of a fool it makes me. All with the glorious companionship of amazing actors, enthusiastic directors, patient tech staff and an audience that is 100% behind us for that last hour.

And this year I loved the announcement of the 2010-11 season, because I get the extreme privilege of acting in two Plan-B plays this season (plus BANNED/SLAM--my 6th year!): She Was My Brother and Mesa Verde.

Plan-B has sold out 12 of their last 15 productions, so if you want to see these plays you should buy tickets on the early side. Or consider buying season tickets--it's a brilliant season.

Me and Mirena Continued--More TMI

2010-04-30T11:22:00.003-06:00

A little update:

I've seen a new gynecologist. She is not convinced that the hormones from the Mirena had any effect on me systemically. Especially because I'm experiencing the same symptoms now without the device as I was then with it. She thinks the hair loss and acne can be attributed to my body experiencing extreme stress due to massive blood loss. I, honestly, don't know what to think anymore.

We agreed on the fact that the blood loss is by far the worst symptom and the one that needs to be dealt with most urgently. I explained my (sometimes irrational) reasons for not wanting a hysterectomy. And she seemed to understand those. Especially because I'm "only 40". A rare perspective, to be sure. She ordered a lot of blood tests to check on my hormone levels and they all seem normal, so it appears that the problem is being caused by the presence of my (relatively) small fibroid (2.5 cm). Apparently it can cause the blood vessels around it to forget how to contract and...other things that uterine blood vessels are supposed to know how to do. They can't do anything about the fibroid itself, it is not the type that can be surgically removed. However, they can do a procedure that will essentially destroy the rest of the lining of my uterus so that it won't do its monthly routine of building up and sloughing off.

So. I am scheduled for an endometrial ablation 3 weeks from today. It may not stop my bleeding altogether, but it should reduce it significantly. Enough to get back to my regular life. My gynecologist thinks I'm a good candidate for the procedure because of the small size of my fibroid and because there don't seem to be any other systemic/hormonal problems causing the bleeding. And she is very confident that it will be the solution to that particular problem. I am too. And I'm hopeful that my other symptoms will resolve themselves in time. If there's nothing wrong with my hormone levels, it's entirely possible that my body is just responding to the stress of blood loss. Time will tell.

Coming Soon...

2010-04-27T16:46:00.003-06:00

Starring Prima and Seconda in a variety of roles. Please come if you can, they'd love to have friends and family in the audience.

Conversations with Prima 4: Spring?

2010-04-07T09:15:00.001-06:00

Upon seeing yet another flurry of snow outside yesterday evening, Prima shook her fist and raged at the sky:

"Mother Nature, I'm really mad at you! I'm going to stop recycling and eat all your animals and use all your resources and use pesticide on all your grass! How you like me now?!"

Apparently threats are the way to go with the big M.N. Inhabitants of Salt Lake Valley, have you been outside this morning?! You can thank Prima next time you see her.

Determinedly hunting for eggs, even in the cold.

Examining the loot.

Relief

2010-03-17T17:22:00.004-06:00

Our first salt dough relief map!

And when I say "our" I mean Prima's.

Although, truth be told, I've never done one before. And I don't think mr. has either. But it was somewhat of a joint effort. I thought she would be okay with just using the dough for mountains and would paint or use marker directly on the cardboard to indicate rivers and lakes. No. She had to have the whole map covered with dough, which mr. kindly rolled out very thin for her (salt dough is a lot harder to roll than pie dough) and then she molded the mountains, rivers, and lakes. I helped her with the labels. The rest is all Prima.

It's not a complete topography of the state of Utah, just a few highlights (she was only required to indicate 3 rivers, 3 mountain ranges, and 3 lakes--so she did some extra credit).

She's pretty critical of her own work, but I think it's amazing.

A TMI Post: Me and Mirena

2010-03-16T10:24:00.007-06:00

I'm posting this partly to keep track of what's going on with my body so that I can trace progress (assuming progress occurs) and partly to add one more voice to the hundreds on the internet warning other women away from this device. I know full well that there are probably significantly more women who have a Mirena IUD in place for years without incident, but the side effects for those who suffer from them are so severe, I think both the manufacturer and doctors should be more forthcoming about the reality of the situation.

First, a timeline to explain how I ended up in this situation.

Jan. 2003~I had a Paragard (copper) IUD installed when Seconda was about 5 months old. I had had the same kind between pregnancies and was very pleased with it, never had any problems, it seemed like the right choice for continued long-term birth control. It should be effective and problem-free for 10 years.

Which it was...until

May 2008~I started having irregular bleeding. Pretty much all the time. Nothing horrifying, just some spotting on most days between periods. My periods were still regular and uneventful. It was more of an annoyance than anything.

Sept. 2008~The spotting started to be accompanied by painful cramping. Again, pretty much all the time. More than just an annoyance. I made an appointment to see my midwife.

Oct. 2008~I went through a series of visits with various midwives. They didn't really know what was wrong with me. They thought maybe my IUD was "expiring" and suggested removing it. I wasn't terribly happy with any other birth control option, so I told them I'd like to try other possibilities first. They put me on the Seasonique birth control pill.

Nov. 2008~One month of sheer, unadulterated hell. Like being pregnant, having postpartum depression, and a miscarriage all at the same time. Every day. Heavy bleeding accompanied by labor-like pain that was unresponsive to any OTC pain medication. Terrible emotional state. Clearly the only thing that had changed to make things so bad was taking the pill, so I stopped after one cycle.

Dec. 2008~I saw the backup physician for the midwives, he did an ultrasound and found a small-ish fibroid. He told me the only real permanent solution for fibroids is hysterectomy (obviously) and in an emotional state still under the influence of synthetic hormones, I scheduled it for the end of January 2009.

Jan. 2009~We sold our house and it became clear that we couldn't handle all of the move issues with me laid up after surgery, so I postponed for at least a month.

Feb. 2009~I started to feel a little more normal, emotionally, and could think rationally about what was happening with my body and realized I didn't want to have a hysterectomy. I called and cancelled it. Was back to minor spotting and pain.

May 2009~I saw a new gynecologist in Salt Lake because I didn't really like the path that things took with my previous midwives/physician. She said the bleeding and pain could both be attributed to a combination of my fibroid and the early "expiration" of my IUD. She recommended switching to the Mirena IUD because it could stop my periods altogether and could also shrink my fibroid. After a solid year of non-stop bleeding/spotting, both of these things sounded wonderful. She also said the hormonal dose is only 1/10 of that in a mini-pill and the hormones wouldn't affect my body systemically, just locally in my uterus. And that only an infinitesimally small percentage of women suffer side effects. So I made an appointment to have my IUD switched.

June 2009~The copper IUD was removed and the Mirena was installed.

July 2009~I started noticing rapid weight gain, especially in my belly, not one of the areas where I usually carry weight. I started to have very heavy and painful periods and was still spotting most of the days I wasn't having a period.

Aug. 2009~The bleeding had gotten so heavy (including clots the size of small mice), my gynecologist ordered an ultrasound to see what was going on. The tech's diagnosis: the IUD was pressing right into my fibroid. Um. I also started breaking out with cystic acne. A condition that I and my parents' pocketbook suffered heavily to get rid of 27 years ago.

Sept. 2009~Continued unbelievably heavy bleeding and horrible pain. I had to do lamaze breathing exercises when a cramp would hit. I had become moody again. And was always fatigued. And I was losing my hair. Quickly. And my lips were peeling and numb all the time. I called my gynecologist and she said if the Mirena IUD didn't fix the problem, really the only other solution was a hysterectomy. Once again, under the influence of synthetic hormones, this sounded perfectly reasonable, so I scheduled it for November. I was losing so much blood, the nurse told me I had to get my iron up so that I wouldn't be anemic, or they wouldn't be able to do the surgery.

Oct. 2009~Mr. just happened to say something to the effect of "all of your symptoms seem hormonal". I started doing some reading on the internet about the Mirena IUD and found hundreds of accounts of symptoms just like mine AND WORSE from women who have the device. Other symptoms include joint pain, high blood pressure, numbness or tingling in various areas of the body, depression...the list goes on. All symptoms caused by...the hormones going systemic. Google "Mirena problems" and you'll find a treasure trove. I made an appointment to have my IUD removed ASAP. It was removed almost exactly 4 months after it was installed.

Nov. 2009~I felt normal. And I could think straight. So I cancelled my hysterectomy. I had a normal length, although somewhat heavy period. With only a day or two of cramping. And that's the only time of the month that I bled. At all. Acne was pretty much cleared up. Hair seemed to be growing back. Weight was starting to come off. I started dieting and talked to my sister (a nutrition consultant) about how to cleanse these toxins out of my body. She warned that as I lose weight, toxins (hormones) stored in fat cells may manifest themselves again. I started taking black cohosh and drinking red raspberry leaf tea, both supposedly help with female cycle issues.

Dec. 2009~Same.

Jan. 2010~Same.

Feb. 2010~I did some reading and discovered that taking Ibuprofen starting a couple of days before your period can stop the pain cycle before it starts and can also prevent clotting. I tried that and it seemed to work. A regular period that was pretty uneventful.

Mar. 2010 (today)~I'm back to symptoms from September. I start spotting only a week after I finished my last period. That morphs into heavy bleeding, including passing gargantuan clots. Cystic acne. Losing hair. I'm hoping these symptoms can be attributed to the fact that I've lost almost 20 pounds since November and the loss of fat is causing hormones stored there to be released back into my system. Hoping.

Will have to see how things progress over the next few months. I need to find a new midwife here in Salt Lake. Someone who won't want to treat every problem with either synthetic hormones or a hysterectomy. Someone who will be willing to explore other options, including natural ones, to deal with my fibroid and any problems caused by it. The bottom line is: I don't want to lose my uterus unless that's truly the last and best option. But I also want to have a good quality of life--constant bleeding and pain is not conducive to this. I don't plan to use my uterus to house any more babies. But it is still a useful organ. Especially as a part of complete sexual function. I'd like to keep it. If you have any suggestions, especially if you know of a good midwife here in the SL Valley, please let me know.

Ready or not

2010-02-21T17:41:00.001-07:00

Here Spring comes!

2010 Lists

2010-01-19T06:00:00.112-07:00

Books/Plays:

The Frog Princess
-play script-The Children's Hour
-play script-Doctor Faustus
-play script-The Glass Menagerie
-play script-Three Sisters
-play script-An Ideal Husband (again)
Peter and the Starcatchers
Fantastic Mr. Fox
-play script-She Was My Brother
My Life in France
-play script-A Doll's House (old translation)
-play script-A Doll House (new translation by Eric Samuelsen)
The Higher Power of Lucky
-play script-The Persian Quarter
-play script-The Pride
Anything Goes: My Autobiography
Ida B.
The Mysterious Benedict Society
Lucky Breaks
The Zuni Man-Woman
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test
The Religious Life of the Zuni Child
The Scarlet Letter
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
The Lonely Polygamist
How to Train Your Dragon
How to Be a Pirate
The Hunger Games

Productions (seen, not acted in) & (titles in bold are those the girls saw with us):

~Noteworthy Winter Concert
~Student SLAM-Theatre Arts Conservatory
~April Ann-Hale Center Theater, Orem
~Urinetown-UVU Department of Theatrical Arts
~The Importance of Being Earnest-Hale Centre Theatre, WV
~Prophets of Nature-Salt Lake Acting Company (reading)
~25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee-Pinnacle Acting Company
~12 Angry Men-Pioneer Theatre Company
~Too Much Memory-Salt Lake Acting Company
~Wallace-Plan-B Theatre Company
~Script-in-Hand Series (Part 1)-Plan-B Theatre Company and Meat & Potato Theatre
~Eurydice-The Grand Theatre
~Our Town-Pioneer Theatre Company
~Reefer Madness-Dark Horse Company Theatre
~Brothers-Covey Center Black Box
~Lady Day at Emerson's Bar and Grill-Pygmalion Theatre Company
~Dirty Rotten Scoundrels-Hale Center Theater, Orem
~Fiddler on the Roof-Hale Centre Theatre, WV
~A Doll House-UVU Department of Theatrical Arts
~Amerigo-Plan-B Theatre Company
~Talking Wales: Finding Sir Formidor-Utah Contemporary Theatre
~Burn This-Utah Theatre Artists Company
~Charm-Salt Lake Acting Company
~42nd Street-Pioneer Theatre Company
~The Wonderful Witches of Oz-Up With Kids (the girls were in this one)
~To Kill A Mockingbird-Hale Center Theater, Orem
~Sordid Lives-Pygmalion Theatre Company
~Everyman and Judgment Day-meat and potato theatre
~Peter Pan-Up With Kids (the girls were in this one too!)
~110 in the Shade-Hale Center Theater, Orem
~HAIR-Egyptian Theatre Company
~An Ideal Husband-Pinnacle Acting Company (I was in it, the girls saw it)
~The Music Man-American Fork Arts Council
~Saturday's Voyeur 2010-Salt Lake Acting Company
~The Taming of the Shrew-Salt Lake Shakespeare
~Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (our first time!)-Cottonwood Heights Arts Council
~The Normal Heart (staged reading)-Plan-B Theatre Company
~Pump Boys and Dinettes-Davis Arts Council
~The Fables Project-Wasatch Theatre Company
~Steel Magnolias-Pinnacle Acting Company
~Hamlet-Pioneer Theatre Company
~Wiley and the Hairy Man-UVU Department of Theatrical Arts
~Oliver!-The Grand Theatre
~The Coming Ice Age-Pygmalion Theatre Company
~Angels in America Part 1: Millennium Approaches-Salt Lake Acting Company
~She Was My Brother-Plan-B Theatre Company (another one I was in that the girls saw)
~Dracula-Pioneer Theatre Company
~Dancing at Lughnasa-Pinnacle Acting Company
~The Scarlet Pimpernel-Hale Center Theater, Orem
~boom-Salt Lake Acting Company
~Me Talk Pretty: Plan-B Reads David Sedaris-Plan-B Theatre company
~She Stoops to Conquer-UVU Department of Theatrical Arts
~Young Santa Claus and the Winter Solstice-Draper Historic Theatre
~Around the World in 80 Days-meat and potato theatre
~Irving Berlin's White Christmas-Pioneer Theatre Company
~If You Give a Mouse a Cookie-Salt Lake Acting Company

Movies:

District 9
Penelope
The Princess & the Frog
Sons of Provo
Imagine That
Night at the Museum-Battle of the Smithsonian
Grey Gardens
(500) Days of Summer
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Alice Through the Looking Glass
Legally Blonde
Leatherheads
Zombieland
The Hurt Locker
Up in the Air
How to Train Your Dragon
The Men Who Stare at Goats
Inglourious Basterds
Sherlock Holmes
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Crazy Heart
Sex and the City 2
44 Inch Chest
Shutter Island
Astro Boy
Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland
Let the Right One In
Toy Story 3
A Single Man
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
Kick-Ass
Den Brother
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Eat Pray Love
The Pajama Game
Me and Orson Welles
An Ideal Husband
The Informant
The Time Traveler's Wife
Iron Man 2
Megamind
Avatar
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1
8: The Mormon Proposition
The Hours
Ramona and Beezus
Despicable Me
The Kids Are All Right
Shrek Forever After
Inception
Scott Pilgrim vs the World

A Decade

2010-01-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

then

So, here we are in a new decade. I've read a lot of complaints/criticisms of the first decade of this century. Everyone's ready to leave it behind for something better. I understand that. There were certainly a lot of things in the "cons" column. But, as I look back on where we were, as a family, in January of 2000, what I see, mainly, is an awful lot of things that changed. Almost everything. And mostly for the better. Happily, one thing that did not change is that I'm still married to the same incredible man and that aspect of my life becomes more wonderful every year.

Here's what life was like for us in January 2000:

We lived in Pennsylvania--3000 miles away from all family on both sides and 99.9% of our friends. Our home was a rental.

We had a 3-month old baby who was on an apnea monitor and was only just beginning to figure out how to breastfeed efficiently.

I was 3 months postpartum, living under the cloud of undiagnosed postpartum depression and probably PTSD as well. And I was obese.

mr. was working a job that required him to go in to an office.

I was a full-time SAHM.

We both thought we would never return to working in the theatre.

I had never heard of Al-Qaeda.

Yes. Life is better now. It was our first decade of parenting, and a decade devoted almost exclusively to parenting. Which was challenging, to say the least. But I/we learned a lot. About myself. About our children. About life. And the challenges of parenting have informed everything I do now. They informed the manner in which I returned to acting and how I understand the work I do there. They informed the manner in which I returned to working and how I approach my worklife.

I'm glad for this past decade. I wouldn't change much about it. And I'm happy for the changes it made in me.

now

2009 by the #'s

2009-12-31T09:00:00.004-07:00

Resolutions fulfilled: 5 out of 7. The 6th (my perpetual resolution) was harder than I thought it would be because I continued to be plagued by health problems which my doctors attempted to treat by means that actually made the situation worse. I'm past it now (thank god) and have a plan that I'm already implementing and starting to feel better/healthier. The 7th (keeping up with mr.'s blog) also turned out to be pretty difficult. I made it up through Oedipus Rex, am still reading Doctor Faustus, and read Laramie Project earlier than he did--which still puts me 16 plays short. Although:

Plays read: 42. There were some I read (for auditions, etc.) that weren't part of mr.'s blog, so that's still a pretty good number. My favorite: Love Song.

Books read: 28. My favorite: The Graveyard Book.

Productions attended: 33. For the record, the girls saw 12 of those with us. My favorite production: Go, Dog. Go! at Salt Lake Acting Company. My favorite performance: Anne Decker in Master Class at Salt Lake Acting Company.

Productions performed in: 2 (plus 3 one-night stands)

Movies seen: 38. I saw 9 of those in an actual cinema. My favorite: Julie & Julia.

Dogs adopted: 1. This has sort of been the overarching theme of our year (since the beginning of June).

Near-miss hysterectomies: 2. I'm happy to say I will go into 2010 with all my parts still intact.

Houses sold: 1.

Jobs acquired: 1.

Those last two, in this economic climate, are things I'm unbelievably pleased about.

Overall, 2009 was a good year. Some ups and some downs. But we accomplished some things we had been working on for quite a long time. And here, at the end of the year, we're in a good place. Emotionally, financially, physically.

Full lists can be seen here.

On to 2010!

More baking and blogging.
I want to catch up on some nonfiction reading I've meant to do for a long time. It takes me longer to read nonfiction books than fiction, so I'm shooting for 6.
I'd like to get cast in at least one show. Some of the things I'll be auditioning for won't go into production until 2011, so I don't know whether I'll be acting in any full productions in 2010.
I plan to file for 501c3 status for the theatre company mr. and I are starting. We haven't yet decided on a date (or, frankly, a venue) for our inaugural production. You'll probably be inundated with information about it from us when it comes close.
I want to get down to my pre-Seconda pregnancy weight. And more importantly, I want to be more fit. I have a diet and exercise plan that is realistic and that makes me feel good. I WILL stick to it.
I have a plan to pay down 75% of our debt by the end of 2010. mr. needs to do something different with his life, something more fulfilling. I hope to put us in a financial position for that change to be realistic.

Conversations with Prima AND Seconda 2

2009-11-12T09:06:00.004-07:00

Are you under the impression that my children are refined little princesses? I am about to disabuse you of that notion.

While reading a book on Space with Seconda:

*farting noise from Seconda*

Me: The planet Seconda is made up mostly of gas.

Seconda: If Mommy was a planet she would be the sun because she's a hot ball of gas. Who gets mad at us all the time.

Trading insults is a high art in our home.

This morning on the way to school:

Prima: Me and my friends have a theatre group. Our motto is "silly plays for silly people". The characters we use the most often are 124-year old people. This month was going to be "Grannies vs. Turkeys" but it backfired because it wasn't funny. Next month will be "Grannies vs. Santa Claus". January will be "Grannies vs. Evil Snowmen". February will be "Grannies vs. Cupids".

...and so on. You get the idea. Frankly, I think those plays sound 100% more awesome than probably half the plays I've seen this year.

P.S. I dare you to convince me that Seconda DOESN'T look like Gollum in that picture. Go ahead and try.

Conversations with Seconda 2

2009-10-06T18:25:00.003-06:00

Me: What did you do at recess that was fun?

Seconda: I swang on the swings.

Me: By yourself, or with somebody?

Seconda: Some people tried to push me but I told them I didn't need a push.

Me: So you can get yourself up in the air without help?

Seconda: Yeah. And when I start to feel funny I make myself go lower.

I like a girl who knows her limits.

September I'll Remember

2009-09-30T06:30:00.000-06:00

Autumn is in the air. And on the ground. And on the trees and bushes and vines.

These grow on a tree in our backyard. Crabapples? I have no idea.

I'm confident they'll all end up like this:

I'll get several good workouts raking up leaves and tiny apples this year.

Our neighbors to the West grow these. They drape over their fence into our yard and we eat them. Happily.

Our neighbors to the North grow these.

And these. They also drape over into our yard and beautifully cover our entire North fence. Again, no idea. Two different colored berries that seem to be on the same vine. Currants?

All the brilliant autumn colors can never compete with this fiery red:

And this golden brown:

A Weekend

2009-09-14T19:30:00.001-06:00

I sleep the sleep of the dead on the plane. Probably something to do with my schedule of late and (could it be?) low iron in my blood. Considering how much of it I lose every day, it wouldn't surprise me. The man sitting next to me notices that I have a sweater in my lap and asks if I came from someplace colder. I tell him no, the Bay Area is notoriously cold at night, so I've come prepared. I think my possession of this information makes him think that I'm a local. Maybe I still am.

Later, when we're about to land, it's dark. I've never noticed before how much baseball fields and football fields and tennis courts stand out when you see a city from above in the dark--I guess because they're so well-lit. The man next to me asks if the weather is the same year round. I say, yes, pretty much. It's a little colder in the winter. He says he's only been here once before, when his cousin got married in 1998. Trying to relate, I say, that's funny, I was married here in 1998 as well. He says that he's back now because that same cousin is very sick with cancer. She is 46 and has two young children. That's not okay. For women who got married (like I did) in 1998 in the Bay Area and who have two young children (like I do) and who are in their 40's (like I am) to be so sick with cancer that cousins come from across the country to sadly pay a visit.

I'm picked up by dear friends and taken to a home that somehow feels like I grew up there. Weird. I guess I did some of my growing up there. I certainly feel comfortable. With the people who live, have lived, and frequent there. He (RIP) still looms large in the books, and wall-hangings, and other miscellaneous things around the house. And that's okay. We drink champagne and laugh. My stomach muscles actually hurt from the laughing.

I don't sleep too well that first night. A party in the apartment next door. Rain. Thunder. But eventually sleep comes and stays for a while.

I spend Saturday with good friends. Friends who, even though I don't see them or talk to them much, are dear to me. People who I consider family because they've been in my life (along with her) for 25 years now. Most of them seem well and happy. One of them seems sad. Which makes me a little sad. In general, we laugh a lot. We talk about a lot of different things. Some reminiscing. Some talk about how things are now. Some talk about the future. Mostly we just enjoy being around each other. It's rare anymore. We eat amazing food. And drink amazing drinks. And celebrate her--our friend/sister/niece/daughter/wife/mother. A truly incredible woman. The boy is king of the castle. Beloved. As he should be. I think he is a perfect combination of both of them. Nothing could make me miss having children that age, but I do wish my children were here. So I wouldn't have to tell people how beautiful and smart and funny they are--they could see for themselves.

That night I sleep well. I'm surprised when I wake up at how soundly I slept.

Sunday morning I walk to the BART station. I could have taken the city bus, but frankly, I would rather walk a thousand miles in bare feet than ride a city bus for 10 minutes. In any city. I don't know either. But it also happens to be a beautiful morning in Berkeley. Perfect temperature. People of all types out in the streets walking dogs and drinking coffee and going from one place to another. Most of them aren't dragging a suitcase behind like I am, but that's okay. I walk past Barney's (the best burgers on planet earth) and Zachary's (the best pizza on planet earth) and the day makes me homesick. It is still my home. I am still a local. If I could come back, I probably would.

I take a not-too-long BART ride and get to see his family. New beautiful baby who looks like both her sisters combined. The first one runs out to hug me. Sometimes being an auntie is awesome. Everyone looks well and seems happy. They seem to have a better sense of humor about the newborn thing than we ever did. Delicious lunch. Then back to the airport.

I sleep only a little on the plane this time. Or maybe it was a lot. I honestly don't know.

When I walk to the car parked at the curb, when I'm still too far away to see anything more than silhouettes, I see the silhouettes of small hands waving at me. I get in and kiss him.

Home will always be where they are.

Prefix

2009-09-11T09:00:00.002-06:00

WORKING-mom. Yep, for real. After 10 months of looking at job listings every day, completing several applications each week, a handful of phone interviews, I-lost-count-of-how-many in-person interviews, and one turned-down offer, I finally found, was offered, and accepted a job that fits my life right now. It's been a complicated 10 months. It involved a lot of soul searching about if/why I really wanted to go back to work. It involved a lot of conversations about how our household would run with me out of it for several hours a day. And conversations about what would best fit our family's needs. It will continue to involve a lot of requests for help and more responsibility from the children. And I can't even think (yet) about what happens during long school vacations or summer break.

But, here I am, Secretary to the Chair of Social Sciences at Salt Lake Community College. I have no explanation for why this one worked out and the others (which included two theatre-related similar jobs) didn't. It probably has something to do with temperament. The people who interviewed me (and who I now enjoy working with) have a different kind of energy than those at any of my other interviews. They are relaxed, but focused. Which, I think, is kind of how I am.

Is it a coincidence that this job turned out to have a schedule that fits exactly what I need right now (I drop the kids off at school on my way to work and pick them up on the way home)? Probably not. Is it a coincidence that my office is located right across the hall from a theatre, or that I work very near a whole bunch of theatre people, two factors that made me feel immediately at home? Also probably not. Is it a coincidence that in my first week of work I discovered that one of our instructors is an actor I've seen on local stages and that others in our department are aware enough about the arts that they noticed my review in the paper? Once again, I think not. I'm 3 weeks into my new life now and I feel like this job was waiting for me and me for it.

I also look with awe on those parents who do this when their children are younger than mine. I have always been amazed and puzzled--how do you do it?, when does the laundry get done?, when do you shop for groceries?, when do you sleep? Now, as I find myself in the throes of figuring out how to stay organized and calm, I am even more sure that I couldn't have done this a few years ago or, frankly, even last Fall (had someone hired me early in my search). And I honestly don't know how so many working parents make everything happen. Let alone how they do it with such grace and humor. I admire you all, and as I join your ranks, be patient with the fact that my bedtime will probably be earlier. For a while.

Three Days of Rain

2009-08-17T11:01:00.003-06:00

I am thrilled to be part of this production. Please come see us. A beautiful script that I think (hope) we are doing justice.

(click picture for info. and ticket ordering)

The End is Nigh

2009-08-09T14:30:00.002-06:00

I'd be a big fat liar...liar-liar-pants-on-fire--if I didn't admit that I cannot wait for this summer to be over. Two more weeks and the girls go back to school. It has not been our best summer ever. Not the most relaxing. Not the most fun. Not the most productive. It's been crazy-cakes. New puppy. Two competing rehearsal schedules. Basement office without a door. Rainy June followed by Mars-like heat in July. None of it good.

The question is: can I make it through these last two weeks?

I'll let you know when I come out the other side.

Four-oh

2009-07-20T17:33:00.002-06:00

Not TOO many wrinkles yet.

These ones keep me young and on my toes.

Conversations with Prima AND Seconda

2009-07-18T13:12:00.002-06:00

Seconda: Mom, what's a soap opera?

Me: It's a dramatic TV show. People have very dramatic relationships and everything that happens is...dramatic. They call them soap operas because soap makers used to advertise during them.

Prima: Ooooahhhhh! I thought it was an opera about soap.

Prima and Seconda: *operatic singing about washing your hands and face*

This may be the one subject Mister Rogers didn't write an opera about. He should have. My kids could have consulted on the libretto. Speaking of which, will someone PLEASE get on putting together a DVD of all of Mister Rogers' operas?! PLEASE?!

All in the Family

2009-07-16T09:00:00.004-06:00

So, our summer turned out to be a little different than we expected. mr. is performing the lead role in Macbeth with Salt Lake Shakespeare.

Aaaaannnddd...Prima is in it with him, making her theatre debut! She is playing an Apparition, a Macduff child, and a guest at the banquet (for those not intimately familiar with the play...the banquet is significant). She's having a wonderful time and doing a great job. She was the first one in the cast to be memorized (she has just one line, but it is long and full of big words and parentheticals), she is well-behaved at rehearsals, and she gets to do a little stage combat (thankfully she's in the trusted hands of an incredible fight choreographer and a careful actor).

She keeps a little notebook in her rehearsal bag and makes sure to write down changes in her blocking or other notes. I think it's in her blood.

They open next Thursday, July 23, and play through August 1 (the exact schedule is a little scattered, so message me if you want to see it and I'll let you know specific days). Speaking of which, remember that one time when mr. was in Henry V with Salt Lake Shakespeare and some of you missed it? And you've regretted it ever since?

Don't let that happen again. Two Fossens for the price of one!

Meanwhile, I have just started rehearsing for Pinnacle Acting Company's production of Three Days of Rain. A beautiful play that I am thrilled to be working on. One of my three very gifted brothers is designing the set (and maybe if I direct people to his blog, he'll post on it more frequently :)). Please come see this one as well. We preview Aug. 20 and play through Sept. 5.

Of course, all of this theatre-making means we've had a little less time for theatre-going this summer. We certainly see our share of plays (17 so far this year--sadly, only 6 of those were ones we took the girls to see with us), but there were/are some particular productions this summer that involved friends of ours and were family-friendly that we were really hoping to see. Hopefully those friends will be understanding about our absence.

Next up...who knows, maybe we'll take a break for a week or so before one of us starts another project. Oh, right, I already have one scheduled for mid-September. More on that later.

ETA: Go here to read an article that includes part of an interview with mr. and Prima about the show. And go here to LISTEN to a part of this same interview.

Home Recital

2009-06-25T10:33:00.004-06:00

Prima had her first piano recital with her new teacher this week. Mark wasn't able to be there because of rehearsal, so she did a home recital for him. Seconda wanted to perform as well. She was almost part of the recital. She started lessons with this new teacher at the same time Prima did. But after a few weeks she displayed some...attitude problems, so we took her out. We hope to start her again next Spring. She'll be a year older and (hopefully) a year more able to handle practicing.

So, here's their home recital. Seconda first and then Prima. With a special appearance by our new puppy, Mac (the dog who will eat anything, including bits of dust from the floor).

A View

2009-06-22T10:01:00.000-06:00

This is the view from my desk. There are 8 different kinds of trees in this picture. And at least one more that is just out of frame. Sometimes it's like living in a forest. With paved roads. And a grocery store 3 minutes away. Perfect.

Questions Answered

2009-06-05T08:30:00.001-06:00

For those with whom I've been out of touch for a long time (and anyone else) who has asked me: What the hell are you doing in UTAH?! (or some variation of that question)...

It has nothing to do with skiing.

It has every thing to do with this:

Seconda meditating on a rock in American Fork canyon surrounded by 3 of her best boy cousins doing...boy things.

Here's the thing: I was a different kind of parent when we lived in Pennsylvania. I had a wonderful group of mommy friends that my husband and some of his daddy counterparts affectionately dubbed "The Overprotective Mommy Club". And I was probably the most overprotective of the bunch. If we had stayed there, both girls would likely still be girly princesses who never went outside without being padded from head to toe. They still like pink and have more than their share of Barbies, don't get me wrong. We moved to Utah to be close to family, and one of the unexpected benefits of that decision is that our girls have been exposed to BOYS in all their glory. They have learned to wrestle (hit back when hit) and climb rocks (or at least try). Prima is now asking for a skateboard and on this particular picnicking trip, she lost a tooth (eating a s'more of all things) and spit blood like a champ.

And do we like it, now that we're here? Yes. For lots of reasons that may seem obvious: affordable housing, breathtakingly beautiful landscape, proximity to family. But the real surprise has been the discovery of a theatre community that is thriving. The culture here in Utah (and in Salt Lake, in particular) is alive with friction caused by conservatives and liberals rubbing elbows and backyards and trying to figure out how to live with each other. I think that friction creates incredible creative energy. And some smart theatre companies like:

Plan-B Theatre Company

Salt Lake Acting Company

Meat and Potato Theatre

Stephen Brown Dance

have tapped into that energy by devoting at least a portion of their resources to developing new works right here in the thick of it. This is the thing that will keep us here. I think. I hope.

And on a more intimate note, for those who've asked: I am not having a hysterectomy after all. I saw a different doctor who thought that solution was somewhat akin to cutting off one's nose...you know how it goes. We are trying a different solution to my problems. I'm optimistic.

My Year With Will

2009-05-25T11:07:00.000-06:00

Last year at this time, I had just been cast in the Sundance Summer Theatre production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. It was the first Shakespeare I had done since understudying Macbeth at Berkeley Repertory Theatre in 1996 (*aside* Berkeley Rep just closed a production of The Lieutenant of Inishmore with Jim Carpenter....WHAAAATT!!...did somebody videotape it for me?!). 12 years. Nothing like being thrown in the deep end after a 12 year absence. My theatre year then proceeded like this:

May-August--Titania/Hippolyta in A Midsummer Night's Dream
September-October--Nurse in Romeo and Juliet
March-May--Duchess (Duke Ferdinand) in As You Like It

I love working on Shakespeare. There is a bottomless well of stuff. So much to be mined. And it is so gratifying when audience members talk to you afterwards and say things like, "I didn't think I would understand what was going on, but I understood everything." See, it's not difficult. The language is heightened, but the ideas are universal. All you have to do is listen.

It's been a good year working with that language again. I hope I don't have to wait another 12.

You're Never Fully Dressed...

2009-05-14T10:00:00.000-06:00

Dear Seconda,

You should know that no matter how scraggly your teeth get (or have been), your smile will always do the same thing it always has done: make other people smile.

Love,

Mommy

Of all the smiles in the world, the 6-year old gap-toothed smile is, by far, my favorite.

Wear the Dress

2009-05-03T10:31:00.007-06:00

Bella says I'm a wicked stepmother.

*muah-ah-ah*

AND I got hissed and booed on Tuesday night. That's an awesome first for me.

As much as I feel like I have an affinity with wicked/evil characters, I realize that I don't often play them. I DO often play strong/powerful women. But not usually evil people. So, that's fun.

What has not been fun about As You Like It? I'll be honest. This dress:

I try not to complain. I really do. The dress is lovely. Beyond lovely, it's gorgeous. (BTW, that's not me in the picture above, it's a woman I don't know, whose head I took the liberty of chopping off). My friends, it is HEAVY. A very wise and beloved college professor of mine (WiO) gave me some great advice about costumes when I was playing Elizabeth I, who, as you probably know, wore mammoth dresses:

He said, "April, wear the dress. Don't let the dress wear you." (I know those of you who know Bill can actually HEAR him saying that, can't you?!) Advice which I have clung to on many occasions. On- and off-stage. However, I think, this time, the dress is wearing me. Or to be more exact, I think the whole ensemble is wearing me. In addition to this dress that weighs...I'm guessing here...30 pounds, I have a wig. A very large wig. A very heavy wig. I don't do so well with wigs. I would rather dye, cut, shave, or spend $400 on extensions than wear a wig. Not exaggerating. Here's the thing, in spite of the extra weight I carry, I'm a relatively small person. I think the word is petite. Short, small frame, short arms, little hands, small head with a large forehead (yes, perfect for playing Elizabeth). So, I think what happens is that between the wig and the dress (and the beautiful feathered hat, which I neglected to mention) all the audience gets of me is a small face poking out of it all--blustering and fuming around the stage. Strange, I think. And, it all makes my spine hurt.

Which is why, when I get to change into this costume:

(yes, that's me. If you came to the show and didn't recognize me, hooray for me being a shapeshifter (thanks to a mask and a beard)!)

I feel free and easy and open and...more like myself.

So, my advice to myself: Grow. Then maybe you can handle sizable costumes and wigs and accessories with grace and aplomb. Like a real actor would.

P.S. If you click the picture at the top you can see all the beautiful costumes available to rent at Archive Costumes. Seriously, there's some gorgeous stuff. Our costumers and archivists are talented and patient people. Unfortunately, they need a better body than mine to put it all on. Like, maybe, yours?

mother EARTH's DAY

2009-04-23T09:14:00.005-06:00

Yesterday was Earth Day.

Here's how we celebrated:

Prima and Seconda picked up trash around their school with their classes.
I ran errands, but just close to home, so I only put...less than 5 miles on the car (which is a milestone for us, trust me).
I was given free shopping bags at two of the stores where I ran errands.
We bought a few pieces of outdoor furniture.
I recycled two huge bags of too-small-for-the-girls clothes at a clothing drive.
Mark walked the girls to school and I walked them home and got a sunburn in the process (which means I now have a flip-flop shaped color line on my feet).
I did a bunch of weeding.
Seconda drew the picture you see above.

I don't remember celebrating Earth Day when I was a kid (interesting to learn that it started right around the time that Mark and I were born and had much to do with population growth problems-hah). Maybe it was only the serious Flower Children that celebrated back then. Of course, we did our share of earth-friendly activities on a regular basis: Mom made EVERYTHING out of gluten--like a champ, we didn't have air conditioning--just room fans, we didn't put chemicals on our lawn--Mom sent an army of children outside with rusty, bent butter knives to dig out the dandelions, we had a garden, Mom cooked and canned and sewed a lot of our clothes. But I think most of that was done more out of necessity and frugality (there were 8 children in my family, after all), than it was out of any hippie sensibilities. I realize, of course, that our global situation has worsened since the 70's and that's why there's more awareness and celebration of Earth Day now.

Here's how Mother Earth celebrated her big day in our yard:

Living here in Salt Lake (where there are TREES! and interesting landscaping) while Spring does its springy thing this year has been absolutely miraculous to watch. Not long ago (and by "not long", I mean "a week") there was still snow on the ground. The branches of the trees had mere bulges here and there that held the suspicion (or promise) of blooms. Then, in just a matter of days, we get some warm weather and the trees absolutely exploded. It is a wonder.

Aside from the blooming live things, we have been graced by the occasional morning presence of these two:

(forgive. I had to take the picture through the window so as not to disturb them.)

A dear pair of quail. If you open the image you can see the female to the left. The male is heading off to the right behind that clump of grass. We see them wander around our yard pecking at this and that early in the morning. He seems to blaze a trail and then patiently wait for her to catch up. I hope hope hope that at some point they will bring a train of babies with them.

Mother Earth--you have given us so many amazing gifts. No matter what we do we can never pay you back. But we're trying.

Happy Spring!

2009-04-11T11:04:00.002-06:00

Look what's coming up in my front yard!

There is nothing like the surprise of Spring in a new home. When everything blooms and you find out what was under that snow and inside those brown branches. I love it.

But these are the blooming beauties I love the most:

Mrs. Allmine

2009-04-06T14:11:00.004-06:00

If you understand this title, I appreciate you. Mr. Allmine's not listed as one of the characters on either the PBS site or Wikipedia. In fact, I couldn't find anything on the web about him. Not a single picture. So, you're stuck with these guys instead. And I KNOW you understand this reference.

Anyways...that's who I am sometimes. Especially when it comes to theatre roles. There's a practice (albeit, rare) in some theatre circles called double-casting. It's when 2 actors are cast in the same role and they alternate performances. Sometimes (as at the Hale Center Theater, Orem, where I'm working now), there will be two full casts. One cast performs M, W, F, the other on T, Th, Sat. This is a great option for larger community theatres that have long runs or runs where they have more than 6 performances a week AND where they are not able to hire or pay Equity actors. Most adults who perform in community theatre also hold down day-jobs, so a seven or eight performance week in addition to a 40-hour/week job, is just a little too much. Double-casting enables us to work in the theatre, but not have it take over our lives. For me, however, it also presents some difficulties.

This is only the second time I've been double-cast. There are the obvious challenges with rehearsal, but that's usually the director's problem, not mine. My challenges start rearing their ugly heads about the time that we start doing run-throughs. I can't watch the other actor do MY part. No, really, I have to literally turn my head and look away. Not because they're doing something wrong. Both times I've been double-cast with other actors who do a fine job. It's just that they do most things different than what I would do. It's subtle. The blocking is the same. The general feel is the same. I think it comes down to choices. Which word is emphasized. Where you take a breath and where you power through. I get attached to the characters I play and the way I play them. And I start to get possessive about the whole thing. So watching someone else play the role, even someone good, even someone I've been in rehearsal with every night is...painful.

And to tell the truth, sitting at home on M, W, and F nights while another actor is at the theatre playing MY role, is even worse. Let's see, what can I compare it to? It would be like sitting outside the window of your house and watching someone else parent your children. I know. But that's how attached I get to MY character. Is that a sign of some mental illness I'm developing? Probably.

Aware

2009-03-28T20:14:00.004-06:00

It's 15 minutes until we're supposed to turn the lights out for an hour--so I'm hurrying to get this out in the ether.

At this point in their lives, our children are loving and aware. By way of demonstration:

Seconda drew this for Prima (even after she complained about having to watch the Knowledge Bowl competition)--

This is one page from a book that Prima made for me detailing all the reasons why she loves me--

These two, I think, speak for themselves. The first is by Seconda (the whole "paper is made from trees" thing is sort of lost on her, but still). The second is by Prima.

How did I get so lucky to have such artistic, creative, loving children who are so aware of the world around them?! I hope they stay this way.

Singin' in the Rain

2009-03-22T20:06:00.004-06:00

Literally.

Seconda spent the whole afternoon out there. Riding her scooter. Riding her bike. Riding her sister's scooter. In the rain. Singing, "Rain, please, go away! Come again some other day!" At one point she came in to announce that she had actually made the rain go away. Stayed in only long enough to get her raincoat off and was back outside again.

I don't think she really wanted the rain to go away. I think if she could spend a day doing exactly what she wanted it would be jumping in puddles. All day.

I need to get her a pair of these:

My Piano

2009-03-14T15:30:00.004-06:00

If you knew how long I lived without one, you might understand how/why I treasure it so.

Or maybe you wouldn't. When I was a kid, we had a beautiful baby grand piano that I played on when I first started lessons at the age of 7. We sold it a few years later, but my mother had keys to the church behind our house, so I continued to take lessons and practiced on whatever piano I could find at the church building. I truly had dreams of being a concert pianist. But, life changes when you become a teenager. When I was 13 I stopped taking piano lessons in favor of doing other things that Junior High offers--playing the flute in concert band, participating in random activities, doing homework constantly.

We moved to California and a friend of my parents loaned us an upright piano. I didn't take lessons, but I did play. A lot. Mostly because the move was hard for me and I had a lot of emotions to deal with. "Fantasia" by Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach--otherwise known as my "mad song". A good pound-y classical piece. And "Song Without Words" by Felix Mendelssohn for melancholy moods. Playing the piano was purely utilitarian at the time. And it helped.

Then I moved away from home to go to college. In 1987. And I lived without a piano until 2008. 21 years, my friends, is a long time for someone like me to go without. I have had this piano for just over a year now. Yesterday it was delivered to our new home after being safely in storage during the moving process. It's not a perfect piano. It's not my dream piano. But it's MY piano. The first one I've ever owned. The one that my children can use for lessons (or therapy, if they're like me). And I admit, I cried when I handed over the check and made it mine.

Auntie Dorothy

2009-02-26T20:42:00.007-07:00

Last Friday, I blogged about her Wine Cake. Yesterday, she passed on to her next adventure. I have no doubt that she is on that adventure with Jim.

I will miss you enormously Auntie Dorothy.

"Wait 'till Tuesday."

Kidney4Paul

2009-02-20T10:07:00.002-07:00

Please go here and do what you can to help. If I had the right type of blood, I would be having myself tested, for sure.

Paul is the first person who took a chance on me when I came back to acting after an 8 year absence. He cast me as a witch in a production of Macbeth. It turned out that I was not able to do the show. But in spite of my uncharacteristic backing out, Paul has continued to think of me when casting projects. And, more importantly, he has become a good friend. Paul has a generosity of spirit that is so admirable. Even as he has been going through this, he occasionally sends me messages asking me how I'm doing. I hate seeing a person of such kindness, enthusiasm, and talent laid low by this and not able to live his full life.

A Good House

2009-02-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

Well, strictly speaking, it was a good HOME, not a good house. The house itself gave us a good share of frustration over the past five years. But it was a house that we chose. Every finish, every element, the carpet, the flooring, the layout, the location, was just what we needed. Five years ago. And it served us well. We lived our life largely in this home. We moved in with an 18-month old and a 4-1/2-year old, and we leave with a 6-1/2-year old and a 9-1/2 year old. A lot happened in those years. A lot of impromptu dance concerts and puppet shows. A lot of birthday parties. A lot of pumpkin carving and egg-dyeing. A lot of sickness and a lot of health.

And now it's time for us to move on to the next phase in our lives. We've known we needed to make a change for a while now, but it's become real. While I was cleaning the house for the last time, it really hit me. I was cleaning somebody else's house.

We put a lot of good energy into those walls. We leave the house with good memories and excitement about what comes next.

25 Random Things

2009-02-06T15:30:00.004-07:00

You've seen it everywhere. Apparently now here too. It was either this or try to pick a new cell phone.

1. I'm terrible at being pregnant, but good at giving birth. I didn't have any pain meds while birthing either of my children.

2. I'm also terrible at being a mother. And if asked, my children would probably agree.

3. I cannot abide eggplant. Unless it's in Baba Ghanoush. Then, I could eat it forever.

4. There are three things I've done in my life that I feel so much shame about, it just about does me in when I'm reminded of any one of them.

5. I'm actually quite proud of the work I did as the Nurse in Romeo & Juliet. And I'm disappointed that so few people saw it.

6. I'm not as smart as my husband. Not by a long shot.

7. Mark and I knew nothing about Hedwig and the Angry Inch or the song The Origin of Love when we had our friends read that section of Plato's Symposium as part of our wedding ceremony. And when I saw Aaron Swenson perform the song on stage, I think I stopped breathing. I cry pretty much every time I hear it now.

8. I am a little crafty, but not like my sister or my mum. I make quilts and alter Barbies.

9. I have freckles inside my irises.

10. I am agnostic. Which means I don't believe in a god. It doesn't mean I believe there is no god. There's a difference. For me, it also means that if there is a higher power of any kind, I believe it is unknowable and incomprehensible.

11. I am painfully shy. Especially around other shy people. They usually end up thinking I'm stuck-up (do people still use that phrase?).

12. I have really enjoyed the past 9 years that I have been able to be a stay-at-home mom. And I am trying to do something else now so that Mark can do something that will make him equally happy.

13. I am #5 in a family of 8 children. I enjoyed having all those people around all the time when I was younger, but now, occasionally, when we're all together, I feel overwhelmed.

14. I have never lived alone.

15. I don't really know how to swim.

16. Or ride a bike.

17. I truly believe that if I hadn't met Mark when and where I did, I would have met him some other place and some other time and would still have fallen in love with him.

18. I graduated from Cal, drove a '68 VW bug while I was a student there, lived a block away from People's Park, smoked my share of dope, but never went to a Dead concert.

19. I performed (sang and danced even) in the Greek Theatre at UC Berkeley. The one where they have huge concerts. That one.

20. I wish more than anything that I could sing. I mean, I can carry a tune, but I wish I could REALLY sing. And I think I'm too old now to break bad habits. But if I could combine acting and singing on stage, I think that would be incredibly fulfilling.

21. I'm kind of an exhibitionist. But I don't have the body for it. Which just makes me a dirty old lady.

22. I'm awful at keeping in touch with people. I hardly ever pick up the phone to call a body. But I think about my friends and family constantly.

23. Careers I have very seriously considered but (obviously) not fully pursued: concert pianist, lawyer, midwife. And I haven't pursued them because acting is the only thing I've ever done that I feel like I'm good at and that also makes me happy when I'm doing it.

24. And at the same time, I feel like I don't know enough to ever be seen as a real actor.

25. I could probably switch to vegetarianism with no problem, but I'm too lazy.

Bonus #26. I'm hyper-self-critical.

Change I Never Believed Would Happen

2009-01-25T16:53:00.006-07:00

A lot changed on January 20, 2009. Yes, we got a new President. Hooray! But more significantly (I know, but there are things that are more significant in my corner of the universe), after almost 7 months of being on the market (in the 2nd attempt in two years) our house sold! We got an offer, negotiated a little, but came to something both parties have agreed on. We're scheduled to close on February 17 (assuming inspections, financing, etc. go smoothly). We subsequently started searching for a new house to move into and quickly found one that we love. We hope our offer will be accepted and that we can begin the process of transplanting our family about a week after we close on our current home. We expect the moving-in process (what with cleaning, painting, transferring the children to a new school, etc.) will take us about a month.

Sooooo...this changes some things in our timeline. I have postponed my surgery and hope that my symptoms won't debilitate me during the moving process. It would just be a little too much to deal with my recovery and picking up and moving house all at the same time (not to mention the fact that mr. is opening a show on Wednesday).

We are so appreciative of everyone's offers for help. And of the vibes/prayers/thoughts/sacrifices you have all sent/offered/made to the universe/god/deity-of-choice on our behalf. We are incredibly lucky to have family and friends willing to take time out of their busy lives to come to our assistance. And we thank you all.

I will post more as things progress.

Hysteria

2009-01-07T14:00:00.002-07:00

It has always irked me that the word "hysteria" comes from the Greek word "hystera"--womb, illustrating the notion that hysteria is something exclusive to women. Something caused by womb-related problems...that is...until this past Fall...when I entered my own private hysteria...caused by (continuing) womb-related problems.

I won't bore/gross out/horrify you with too many details. After almost three months of constant pain and bleeding (caused, it seems, by fibroids), I have decided to have a hysterectomy. So far, none of the measures we have taken to manage or stop the symptoms have worked. The doctors/midwives I see have presented me with some options to try to remove the fibroids, but from what I read, it seems they almost invariably return. I have no interest in retaining my fertility, so out it comes. I read stories about women who endure symptoms similar to mine (and worse) for years before opting for surgery. I honestly don't know how they do it. If you've seen me in person over the past few months (which most of you haven't, this has led me to be somewhat of a shut-in), you probably have noticed I've been a little different. I just don't handle these things very well. I'm confident that this will fix the problem and I'll be able to resume my regularly scheduled programming.

I'll admit, I have a certain amount of guilt over chucking an organ that is functioning (if not optimally) in the biohazard bin. Especially when I know many people who could use a uterus. But I'm nothing if not selfish.

The surgery is scheduled for three weeks from yesterday, January 28. I've never had surgery (aside from wisdom tooth extraction), so I am a bit nervous about this. Frankly, our children are too. We lost our beloved guinea pig, Fiona, last summer. She had a "diseased uterus", according to the vet (I didn't ask for more clarification). He attempted to do a hysterectomy, but her health was already too compromised and she died on the operating table (in spite of attempts to resuscitate--a guinea pig--yes). I am doing my best to reassure them (as I reassure myself) that that won't happen to me. That my health is fairly good. That the procedure is more refined for a human than a rodent. But, they are understandably worried because now they have it in their heads that a creature can die because of a uterus problem. Luckily, I have a wonderful mr. who is more than capable of handling me, them, and our household while I recover. And, thankfully, the Pie Queen lives nearby and is willing to help care for me and the girls while mr. is in performances.

I'll be out and about shortly after--seeing theatre and whatnot--and will happily accept any offers from friends who want to buy me a drink on behalf of an organ that did its job well, not once, but twice.

P.S. If you really want the gory details, let me know and I'll email you.

The Girl with the Purple Cast

2009-01-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

The awesome brave girl who broke both bones in her wrist while rollerskating for the first time. To her credit, she fell down (and got back up) 6 times without breaking anything before the 7th, final, injurious fall.

(they didn't have pink in the doctor's office, so we settled for second favorite color)

Who are you calling a hoar?!

2009-01-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

Note to self: When it's not endangering your husband's life as he travels to and from rehearsal, winter in Utah is incredibly beautiful.

for the uninitiated: hoar frost

2009 Lists

2009-01-04T11:00:00.137-07:00

I like having a record of what I read and saw for 2008, so I'm going to keep a log for 2009 as well. I might do it every year.

Books/Plays:

-play script- Waiting for Lefty
Letting Loose the Hounds
-play script-The Guys
The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 1)
-play script-Black Watch
The Reptile Room (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 2)
-play script-Topdog/Underdog
-play script-Love Song
-play script-As You Like It
The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 3)
-play script-Betrayal (for about the 50th time)
-play script-The Invention of Love
The Autograph Man
-play script-Riding the Bull
Coraline
From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
-play script-Shining City
The Miserable Mill (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 4)
-play script-Dead City
-play script-Dancing at Lughnasa (and again)
The Austere Academy (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 5)
-play script-Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
-play script-The Lieutenant of Inishmore
-play script-Women in Arms
A Wrinkle in Time
-play script-The Exception and the Rule
-play script-Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
The Ersatz Elevator (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 6)
-play script-Stage Directions
Scott Pilgrim, Volume 5: Scott Pilgrim vs. the Universe
-play script-God of Carnage
-play script-Aria da Capo
-play script-Three Days of Rain (twice)
The Graveyard Book
The Vile Village (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 7)
-play script-Charm
-play script-Too Much Memory
The Hostile Hospital (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 8)
-play script-Borderlands
-play script-The Changeling
-play script-The Last Days of Judas Iscariot
The Carnivorous Carnival (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 9)
-play script-Take Me Out
-play script-The Brothers Size
-play script-A Lie of the Mind
The Slippery Slope (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 10)
-play script-The Piano Lesson
-play script-The Crucible
-play script-Civil Sex
The Grim Grotto (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 11)
The Penultimate Peril (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 12)
-play script-The Little Dog Laughed
-play script-Boston Marriage
The Tales of Beedle the Bard
-play script-2 Across
The End (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 13)
-play script-An Ideal Husband
-play script-The Laramie Project
Bunnicula
-play script-Angels in America, Part 1: Millenium Approaches
Runaway Ralph
-play script-Angels in America, Part 2: Perestroika
-play script-Three Tall Women
-play script-Our Town
-play script-Oedipus Rex
Howliday Inn
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Bunnicula Strikes Again!
A Christmas Carol
Kafka on the Shore

Productions (seen, not acted in) & (titles in bold are those the girls saw with us):

Student SLAM-Theatre Arts Conservatory
Rabbit Hole-Pinnacle Acting Company
Chess-UVU Department of Theatrical Arts
Room Service-Hale Center Theater, Orem
A Trip to Bountiful-Grand Theatre
Romeo and Juliet-Pioneer Theatre Company
dark play or Stories for Boys-Salt Lake Acting Company
Block 8-Plan-B Theatre Company
Stop Kiss-Pygmalion Theatre Company
All Shook Up-Hale Center Theater, Orem
Di Esperienza-Plan-B Theatre Company
End Days-Salt Lake Acting Company
Wicked-Broadway Across America
Infantry Monologues-Meat and Potato Theatre Company
Saturday's Voyeur 2009-Salt Lake Acting Company
Drosselmeyer, Inc.-Stephen Brown Dance
Beauty and the Beast-Scera Shell
Macbeth-Salt Lake Shakespeare
Charlotte's Web-UVU Department of Theatrical Arts
The Turn of the Screw-Utah Theatre Artists Company
The Caretaker-Salt Lake Acting Company
The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later, An Epilogue-Plan-B Theatre with Kingsbury Hall
Schoolhouse Rock-Live!-The Grand Theatre
Frankenstein-Mortal Fools Theatre Project
Master Class-Salt Lake Acting Company
Radio Hour: Alice-Plan-B Theatre Company
Is He Dead?-Pioneer Theatre Company
New Play Project, Staged Reading-Theatre Arts Conservatory
Little Shop of Horrors-Hale Center Theater, Orem
A New Brain-Dark Horse Company Theatre
Disney on Ice-Princess Classics
The Swell Season in concert
Much Ado About Nothing-UVU Department of Theatrical Arts
Joyful Noise-Covey Center for the Arts
Go, Dog. Go!-Salt Lake Acting Company

Movies:

The Tale of Despereaux
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Get Smart
Magical Mystery Tour
Burn After Reading
In Bruges
Tropic Thunder
Man On Wire
Hannah Montana: The Movie
Slumdog Millionaire
17 Again
The Wrestler
Caprica
Synecdoche, NY
Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
Australia
Quantum of Solace
The Bourne Ultimatum
Made of Honor
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
The Devil Wears Prada
Dream for an Insomniac
The Nanny Diaries
The Notebook
Coraline
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Borat
Julie & Julia
Watchmen
Ponyo
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Where The Wild Things Are
Miss Austen Regrets
Help!
Anvil! The Story of Anvil
Up
Star Trek
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Angels & Demons

2008 by the #'s

2009-01-01T09:00:00.009-07:00

Resolutions fulfilled: 3 out of 5 (plus a bonus one that I made halfway through the year). The 4th was one of those perpetual resolutions. It will always be a challenge for me. The 5th was, well, probably not the best thing to try to accomplish in this economic climate. I'll keep trying.

Books read: 52.

Productions attended: 36. For the record, the girls saw 21 productions. I'd venture to guess that's more theatre than most adults saw this year.

Productions performed in: 3 (plus 4 one-night stands)

Movies seen: 44. I only saw 8 of these in an actual cinema.

Full lists can be seen here.

On to 2009!

I plan to continue baking and blogging about it. And learning more about it in the process.
I'd like to keep up with the reading on mr.'s new blog.
I'd like to act in at least one show.
I'd like to start working out the details of producing theatre with mr.
I'd like to start bringing some money into our household. By some means, whether it's a regular day job or finally landing some commercial work.
I'd like to sell my house and move to Salt Lake.We've been on the market for 6 months. Another goal that will be hard to reach in this economic climate.
Again with the perpetual resolution.

And the lamb and the lion shall lie down...apart

2008-12-27T09:00:00.001-07:00

This is the usual state of our household. Prima and Seconda fight like cats. One irritates the other. The other lashes out. Vicious cycles. Not exactly what I envisioned when I had the great idea to have two children. I don't know why I thought everything would be sweetness and light. I have 4 sisters and we did our fair share of squabbling while we were growing up. Who was at fault depends largely on who you're talking to. Even now.

But. The girls asked Santa Claus for iPod nanos for Christmas. And they got them. And a long-awaited peace has ensued.

Seconda is behind door #1 listening to her iPod and playing with Polly Pockets (yes, on Christmas Day she was playing with old toys). Prima is behind door #2 listening to her iPod and reading. Now, of course, I have mixed feelings about this. I don't want the children to grow up isolated from us and each other. Or always plugged in to some piece of electronic equipment. But, for just this moment, I'm going to enjoy the quiet in my home.

Thank you, Santa Claus, for bringing me Peace on my small piece of Earth. For a little while.

Oh, I'm the Happiest Christmas Tree

2008-12-25T09:00:00.004-07:00

I would play the song for you here, but apparently the copyright people don't approve.

I like to think my Christmas tree is the happiest one. We buy a fresh tree every year. I just can't do the fake tree thing. And every year, in the tree lot, I look for the tree that seems happiest. We take it home and decorate it with what some people would probably consider an odd and unattractive assortment of ornaments. We don't have a theme. We don't have a color palette. We have very old ornaments and very new. We have ornaments handmade by adults and ornaments handmade by children. We have ornaments that have been carefully chosen at the store. We have ornaments from our separate childhoods and ornaments from our life together as a couple and a family. Every one of them is treasured. Every one of them has a story. This is why our tree is always the Happiest Christmas Tree.

And because these two

do an awful lot of this:

Merry Happy Jolly to you and yours!

Short and...sweet?

2008-12-18T15:13:00.003-07:00

A short film I was involved in last week (to be fair, I was involved for about 4 hours, everyone else, for much more time). Oh, and a WARNING (is there ever NOT one with me, really?), I say "damn" and I almost say "ass". So, you're warned:

And now you know what I look like with no hair or makeup. Honestly, I think I look a little bit like her:

And I think it's kind of a good look for me.

Magical December

2008-12-16T10:22:00.002-07:00

"Mommy! Come upstairs! Quick! I have a surprise for you!"

Remember when you were six years old and snow was like magical sparkly toys falling from the sky?

Dry December

2008-12-10T22:22:00.005-07:00

Three jobs I have this month:

1. Keep this watered. Add a gallon of water once a day.

2. Keep these brandied. Brush with brandy once every 2 to 3 days.

3. Keep these moist. Slather with the richest lotion available once every 2-3 minutes.

Have I mentioned that I live in the high desert? Anytime my East Coast friends get overwhelmed by the humidity, I welcome you to visit me and experience aridity.

Anything but Routine

2008-12-08T10:03:00.001-07:00

Prima performed with her Hip Hop dance class at the Festival of Trees last Wednesday afternoon. Yes, it was a school day. Please don't ask. In fact, don't ask about the event at all. It was one of the more traumatic experiences of my parenting life thus far. No, I'm not kidding. Just enjoy this little video:

Of course, I must provide equal time for Seconda (actually, I think it comes out to MORE time, but who's counting?), who was in a tumbling class, and therefore, not considered as a potential performer. Seriously, don't ask. So, she performed her "routine" at home (and picked out the background music for the video). For your further enjoyment:

The First 10

2008-12-06T08:00:00.001-07:00

There was no way I could have known...as obviously giddy as I was in that moment...that feeling was nothing compared to the absolute elation I have felt on a daily basis for the 10 years since then. I so look forward to the next one hundred and 10.

I love you mr.

Giving Thanksgiving Thanks

2008-11-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

I'm thankful that I had EXACTLY enough flour to make two pans of corn bread and two pies. *phew*

I'm thankful for my kitchen that is big enough and functional enough to house my cooking and baking adventures.

I'm thankful for Martha Stewart. And Alton Brown. And Emeril Lagasse.

I'm thankful to my midwife for giving me that codeine prescription back in May that made it possible for me to stand in the kitchen for several hours.

I'm thankful for my family. Especially the ones who live close enough to run over when I have a baking powder emergency. And the ones who have handed down recipes that I couldn't live without. And the ones who host our big family dinner. So I don't have to worry about cleaning my house.

I'm thankful to have a husband who is willing to make the 50 mile round trip drive to the liquor store because sometimes only vodka will do. Usually when it's the only type of liquor we DON'T have in the house. And who doesn't judge me when I eat half a pound of See's Candies.

I'm thankful to have two intelligent children who ask questions like, "Why do we eat turkey on Thanksgiving?" And who have inherited good humor from their father:

"A penny for the poor?" she asks. She needed it to buy herself a new Barbie.

I'm thankful for my friends who always TRY to get me to ditch my family to go out and play with them. Even though they know I won't.

Thank you.

Moab

2008-11-21T13:58:00.009-07:00

Last weekend, mr. traveled to Moab with Plan-B's tour of Exposed. We decided it would be a good opportunity to take a weekend family vacation. I drove down with the girls Friday afternoon and met mr. and his Exposed family there*. In all the years I've lived in Utah (both as a child and recently), I had never seen any of the State or National Parks in Southern Utah (at least not that I remember). So, we thought it was about time all of us saw these places we've heard so much about (and that are featured on our license plates).

It was gorgeous weather throughout the weekend. Not hot, but not too cold. Not windy. Just perfect. Saturday morning, we were lucky enough to be included with the Exposed crew in a Ranger-led hike through the Fiery Furnace section of Arches.

A retired Ranger was very excited about the Exposed tour and offered to take us all. It was an incredible hike. We are not generally the hiking type, and rarely take the girls on those types of adventures, so we (along with everyone else) were really impressed with how well they did. The hike is about a mile long, but winds around and over and under in complicated and sometimes treacherous ways. It took about 3 hours. There are lots of skinny spaces to shimmy through, crevasses to leap over, slippery rocks to scramble down and over.

And so much beautiful scenery.

Prima and Seconda peeking through a new(ish) arch.

Our fantastic guide, Audrey.

mr. took this one with his cellphone. I love the pink flare.

After the hike, we went back to our hotel to catch our breath and procure batteries** before heading back out to Arches. We wanted to see some of the bigger formations that you can see by driving and taking short walks from the car.

Balanced Rock. And two goofy girls.

The Fiery Furnace from a distance.

North Window.

Turret Arch.

Our last stop for the day was Delicate Arch. We got to the viewpoint right after the sun had set, so there wasn't much light on it. But the girls have already made it clear that next time they want to do the hike to the arch itself, not just the viewpoint. Fine. I'm on board for that.

Sunday morning, before we started the drive home, we took a side trip to Dead Horse Point State Park. It was beautiful. A little bit hazy (I think, because of the fires in Southern CA), but such an incredible sight. It's like looking back in time. Quite literally.

The most amazing thing to me was the scale of it all. One of the things I love about living in Utah, cradled in a valley with mountains all around is that it makes me aware of my place in the universe. I spend a lot of time acutely aware of how I affect other people. I like being able to look up at the mountains and experience a feeling of complete insignificance. This place made me feel that even more so. Those stripes in those rocks each took millions of years to develop. The human race is so fleeting in terms of our time here on this planet. I don't know why, but that makes me feel comforted. Like maybe the planet will be okay in spite of us. At the same time, we could see the effects of humans trying NOT to disturb the soil over the last 30 years or so while we were in the Fiery Furnace. Areas where plant life had completely disappeared because of human interference that are now flourishing again because of a focused effort to make our mark smaller. Amazing.

We'd all like to go back. Sooner rather than later. There are more arches we want to see. More hikes. Rock art. Canyonlands. Zions. ETC. More time to spend hanging out and discovering how brave and strong our children are. In spite of us.

*For those keeping track, this is the second time I've followed Plan-B on a tour. I'm one of their Fangurlz.

**Most of the photos taken inside the Fiery Furnace were taken by Joyce Cohen, who had the good sense not to run out of battery in her camera 5 minutes into the hike. Thanks Joyce, we owe you!

P.S. If you go to Moab, don't stay at the Days Inn. Just trust me.

Brave Shave to Save

2008-11-17T11:10:00.004-07:00

For the past few years, I have been part of a Utah-based internet theatre community (not just a website!) called Players Anonymous. Every year around the holidays we do some sort of fundraiser. This year, some in our community and many who are loved by people in our community have been diagnosed with cancer. My oldest brother is currently undergoing chemotherapy for lymphoma. So, this year we are raising funds for cancer research. Some brave souls among us are chopping, shaving, or otherwise dramatically changing their hair. You can sponsor this effort or get more information, by clicking on the image below. Contributions will go directly to the American Cancer Society. mr. is one of these shavers, although, admittedly, it's not such a brave move on his part, he's already gone bald for two stage roles this year. But, why not do it again, if it will get people to donate money?!

Tetchy

2008-11-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

No, it's not really okay with me for you to schedule a dance performance (that my child will undoubtedly want to participate in) during school hours. No, I don't care that it's an amazing opportunity. Because, frankly, at this age, my child's schooling is more important to me than her dance "career".

Please, for the love of all that is holy, spell-check the weekly homework assignment page. If we're going to get serious about raising literate children, it would help if their teachers set a good example.

Watching Disney's Peter and the Wolf in music class because the regular teacher is out and there's a substitute is one thing. Watching It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is an entirely different thing.

Really? You're a cashier at a preteen clothing store. You want me to give you both my home phone number ("including area code" *grin*) and my child's birthdate (and year)?! That's personal information. That's private. That's valuable and could be used in ways I might not like. No, most of those possibilities are not worth whatever coupon you want to email me.

Perhaps you could stop shoving food in your gullet long enough to notice that you are blocking three lanes of aisle traffic with your cart. FYI, Costco is a store, not a restaurant.

What makes you tetchy?

Hope

2008-11-05T09:38:00.002-07:00

For an old pessimist like myself to feel joy, hope, and even faith...that is a miracle.

The miracle worker:

A Lament

2008-11-03T22:35:00.007-07:00

I'm loaded on naproxen and bourbon right now to kill the pain (physical, not emotional, and it's not working) so forgive...

I'm not a positive person (you see how I worded that...evidence in itself). I really never have been. I'm a pessimist, bordering on fatalist. I'm looking for a ray of hope somewhere, and truly, not finding it.

We moved here to Eagle Mountain almost 5 years ago. At the time, we were very different people than we are now. We had a 14-month old baby (who was still breastfeeding), and a four-year-old. mr. was working from home, exclusively. I was a mommy, exclusively. Neither of us had hobbies or endeavors of any kind that took us away from home. The world was also somewhat different at the time. Gas was cheap. Housing was relatively cheap. Jobs were not in jeopardy. Priorities were different. We wanted to live near family after being too distant during the baby days. And by near, we meant NEAR, like, down the street. We could afford to buy a house here. A nice house, with a large yard. A lot of grass for children to fall and not hurt themselves. A lot of carpeting inside for the same. Family very close. We figured it would be no big deal to make the 25-minute drive into civilization weekly or biweekly to run errands. We picked out everything we wanted in a home from the lot, to the carpet color, to the refrigerator. We waited with bated breath for our home to be ready. And finally it was, and we moved in. Our first home. Our own home. It's been a good place for us. I think we've filled it with love and laughter and joyful voices and good energy.

Now, everything is different. And while we still love this house, it's no longer in the right place for us. Since our move, both of us have become actors again. We both work fairly regularly and never less than a 75 mile round-trip away. mr. has made some realizations about his life that make him long for more open possibilities. I have become a mom with children who are at school all day (a mom who needs something more than a hobby--like, a job). We want to be able to do our part to shrink our footprint; to walk to the store, to use the car less, to recycle as much as possible, to buy local foods. We have growing children; children who are increasingly aware of the difference between them and their schoolmates (namely, religion). All of these changes (and more) have made us realize the need to live in Salt Lake City. It's more than a need. What's more than a need? A requirement? It pains me every day that we continue to live so far out. Our beloved home has been on the market now for 4-1/2 months and there is no end in sight. We must sell in order to be able to move. We are still a single income family.

And yet, I know that things could be much worse. I really do know that. I know there are many, many people who are in much worse shape than we are (financially, career-wise, or other-wise). We have a good, full life. There are no wolves at the door. We are just >this< close to the life that we envision for ourselves. A life that seems not too far from how we live now, but at the same time, eons away. And I don't know how to get us there.

Something needs to happen. This is me, inviting you, SOMETHING, to happen. We're ready for you.

Who knew?

2008-11-03T11:12:00.002-07:00

There's a name for it. And somebody's doing something about it.

This might make my holiday season.

Spooks

2008-11-01T20:11:00.008-06:00

Or something. It's well-documented that I don't care for Halloween. However, when you have kids this cute, you have to play along.

For those not versed in popular culture, Prima is Daphne from Scooby -Doo, and Seconda is Lucy Pevensie from Prince Caspian.

I'd also be okay with getting rid of the pumpkin carving tradition. The girls picked out the biggest pumpkins they could find this year, complete with 4-inch thick flesh. I broke one knife and bent two others completely out of shape. At least they were happy with the results.

And now the countdown begins to the year when we no longer have to go through all this nonsense and can just disconnect the doorbell, turn off the lights, stay in and watch The Birds or Psycho, and be spooked in the comfort of our own home.

Uncle Jim

2008-10-30T09:00:00.003-06:00

I learned yesterday that my Great Uncle Jim passed away last week. I wish everyone could have known him. He was such a tender-hearted old curmudgeon.

When we were kids and would visit him and my Great Aunt Dorothy, I was always afraid of him. All I knew at the time was that he was very tall, and didn't like us messing with his stuff. As I got a little older, I would play this horrible hand-slapping game with him (you know the one where someone puts their hands on top of another person's, palm to palm, and the one on top is not supposed to flinch while the one on bottom tries to move so fast that they successfully slap them---I'm sure there's a name for this game, somebody help me out here). Well, Uncle Jim's hands were so large, that it didn't matter how early I tried to pull my little-kid hands away, he'd get me every time and I'd end up red from finger tip to elbow. Why did I keep playing?, you ask. Because it was a challenge, I knew one of those times I would be quicker and smarter. I never was.

During Spring Break of my senior year in high school I took a trip to Northern California with my 3 best girlfriends. We visited Berkeley for a couple of days and then spent a couple of days with Dorothy and Jim. It was a wonderful respite. We took walks and sat around and talked. Jim loved to tease people, get them going about one thing or another. Then his face would change and you'd find yourself the victim of his silly joke as he would laugh his sly and quiet laugh.

I also took a vacation to their home when I was in college. I badly needed a getaway from school and work and productions and everything. They were beyond happy to take me in for a week, feed me, let me sleep as long as I wanted, take me on hikes and walks. I felt so at home with them, more so than I ever did with my own Grandmother. They were both so accepting of everyone, so able to laugh at themselves and the world. Jim could at times be very silent and difficult to read, but he could also be wonderful company.

(I had to work hard to find this photo of him--with Dorothy 11 years ago--he was usually the one behind the camera)

I got a typed (on a typewriter!) letter from him last Christmas. I wish now that I had kept it. He thanked me for the card I had sent with a picture of our girls, updated me on Dorothy's condition (she has Alzheimer's and had recently been moved out of their home into a care facility) and told me a little about his health. He complained/joked about how much weight he was gaining because he was spending most of his time in a wheelchair. Just a wry little comment that was vintage Uncle Jim.

I don't know the exact circumstances of his death. Apparently he had been having some heart problems. A big heart like that--it got used in the right way for 93 years.

Let's Focus on ME!

2008-10-29T15:10:00.004-06:00

My mother tagged me.

5 Things I was doing 10 years ago...
1. Planning our wedding
2. Planning our honeymoon to Ireland
3. Working at UC Berkeley in the UGIS Division
4. Trying to get out of debt before marriage
5. Giving up acting to become a midwife

5 Things on my "To-Do" list today...
1. Iron
2. Fix Prima's wig for her Halloween costume
3. Hem Seconda's Halloween costume
4. Make bread
5. Make soup

5 Snacks I enjoy...
1. Cottage Cheese
2. Nuts
3. Chocolate
4. Fruit
5. Yogurt

5 Things I'd do if I were a Millionaire...
1. Give up selling this house and just go ahead and move to Salt Lake
2. Bid $10,000 on this, win it, and give it to mr. for Christmas
3. Pay for mr. to go back to school
4. Travel
5. Start my own theatre company

5 Places I've Lived...
1. Utah--American Fork, West Jordan, and Eagle Mountain
2. Southern California--Simi Valley
3. Northern California--Berkeley, Oakland, and Richmond
4. Pennsylvania--Exton
5. That's more than 5

5 Jobs I've Had...
1. Accounts/Fiscal Assistant--UC Berkeley Dept. of Dramatic Art and Div. of UGIS
2. Administrative Secretary--Kaiser Permanente
3. Collections Quality Assurance Technician--American Express
4. Teller--Bank of America
5. Hostess/Waitress--Charley Brown's in Emeryville, CA and Ruth's Diner in Emigration Canyon

Conversations with Seconda

2008-10-28T16:33:00.005-06:00

Seconda: Mommy, what's your favorite food in the whole world?

Me: .....Mmmmmm....the roast duck at Thai House in Berkeley.

Seconda: Ew.

And, oh my god, somebody blogged about it. I miss that place. In addition to the duck, I could really use a big bowl of Tom Kha Gai right now. Comfort food extraordinaire.

And, *gasp* they have free delivery! Do you think they deliver two states away?

Sunday Confessions

2008-10-26T10:50:00.004-06:00

My MIL is in town and at mass. A good time for me to make some confessions:

I'm selfish. No, I really am.

I cannot see every play I want to see. I just can't. And it gives me no end of pain.

No matter how compelling the topic, if Jennifer Napier-Pierce is hosting, instead of Doug Fabrizio, I just won't listen.

I am going to miss that part. I actually believe I was good. So, we can count pride among my sins as well.

More to follow, I'm sure.

Hellooooo Nurse!

2008-10-16T09:00:00.000-06:00

Well, something like that. Tonight is opening (or is it preview? I honestly don't know) for Pinnacle Acting Company's production of Romeo & Juliet, in which I play the Nurse. I'm physically bruised and emotionally battered, which, hopefully, means it will be a good show. We perform Thurs, Fri, and Sat (mat. and eve.) through October 25. That's only two weekends, people! So, don't dawdle.

First Snow

2008-10-12T11:47:00.009-06:00

I think, if you're under the age of 12, there is a kind of manifest destiny in your soul that REQUIRES you to play in the first snow of the season. No matter how little there is of it or how fast it's melting.

Snow Angels.

My Place

2008-10-08T10:22:00.000-06:00

I'm no naturalist. Nor am I an environmentalist, per se. But I've been spending more time outside lately. Hoping the fresh air would clear the cobwebs of hopelessness that have taken over my brain. And trying to take advantage of the weather before it gets too cold. I've also been listening to some older podcast episodes of Radio West; environmentalists, outdoorsmen (and women), and naturalists talking about their relationship with the natural world and how it feels like home to them, especially when they are alone in nature.

I was raised by people who love the outdoors. My mother is an excellent gardener. We had a garden when I was a kid in American Fork: zucchini, tomatoes, raspberries, concord grapes, sunflowers. She was often to be found tending to it. Now that she just has flowers, she cares for them lovingly; weeding and watering with great attention (and early in the morning--I could never do it). My father is a Boy Scout through and through. He has always hiked, and camped, and taught other people how to get along with nature. Yet somehow, none of it rubbed off on me. Nature is not my place.

I had, once, a very cathartic experience in the outdoor world. Here:

at Giant's Causeway, Northern Ireland. I can't explain the feeling that I had while there, but it was like I had come home after an extraordinarily long absence. Maybe it had less to do with the outdoors and more to do with being just across the sea from Scotland, the ancestral home I feel the closest connection to.

But it has all made me consider where it is that I feel at home. Where I feel most comfortable. Here, certainly:

I know this puts me in a very small minority, but the stage is one place where I feel utterly at ease.

Here, definitely:

In fact, quite literally my home for the longest period that I've stayed anywhere. School and work for 11-1/2 years. I will always call it my home town.

But, when I really think about it, my real home is wherever this one is:

Yep, that's sappy. But completely true. He's been my home and haven for just over 14 years. Home Sweet Home.

credit where it's due: the stage photo is from Plan-B's production of Miasma, and was taken by Z, mr.'s photo was taken by Mir, the others are by nameless people I don't know so *shrug*

Prima piano and Seconda somersault

2008-09-26T08:00:00.000-06:00

Prima has her first piano recital tonight. I'm going to try to resist the urge to take my video camera. I filmed her at home instead.

Seconda is taking a tumbling class. She was doing somersaults without really bending her neck and coming down so hard on her back, I thought she was going to paralyze herself for sure. So she's been working and working on them. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how many somersaults she's done over the past week. She finally figured it out.

My New Blog

2008-09-25T11:40:00.000-06:00

Yes. Now you'll have to read two blogs if you want to keep up with my terribly exciting life. It just seemed like my pie making venture should have its own blog. Here it is: Thank God It's Pie-Day! I've moved my pie posts over there (unfortunately, the comments didn't find their way over--sorry). Come on over and enjoy!

Too Big

2008-09-17T10:50:00.000-06:00

It's pretty rare for something to be too big for me (no, I'm not going there). I've never met a piece of cake, a piece of pie, or a cookie that was too big. Nor a hamburger. Nor a martini. I don't usually have the "too big" problem when I'm shopping for clothes, either.

But the role of the Nurse in Romeo and Juliet---it feels too big. Like a shoe that doesn't quite fit. I don't know how else to describe it. Is it only in actor-speak that the phrase "it's a huge role" makes any sense? The character goes from the height of comedy to the depth of despair. From having a solid place in a dignified household to exile (although that's not mentioned specifically in the play--it is part of the story the play comes from). She is warm and funny and smart and not-so-smart and bawdy and serious and loyal and hopeful and confident and religious and loving and possessive and sad and overbearing and brutal and cunning and sexy. Yeah. Sexy. Hundreds of actresses (and actors, for that matter) have tackled this role. Usually later in their lives and careers. That's an intimidating history to confront. I don't know why it's getting to me with this role when it hasn't with others. It just seems like maybe I'm not the right kind of actor for this kind of role.

Of course, I'm trying. I'm doing my best to find something that I can bring to the role. It would be crazy for me to think that I could possibly bring anything new to it with hundreds of years of performances. But maybe I'll be able to bring something that will be new for this audience. I certainly am not the old, lame, pudgy Nurse they may be used to seeing. I'm not sure what Nurse I am yet. Thankfully, I still have a few weeks to figure that out.

To Everything (turn, turn, turn)...

2008-09-02T13:04:00.000-06:00

Fall is in the air. I know we'll have at least one more heat wave before we actually get Autumn full-force, but I'll take what I can get. I can tell the change is about to happen before the weather actually changes. Usually because I start thinking less about these:

and more about these:

Which brings me to a request (of my...2 readers). Back when I made my New Year's resolutions, I neglected to mention one. I wanted to learn to bake pies this year. Clearly, I've also neglected this resolution. I mean, I can follow a recipe. I can bake a pie. I just don't have as much experience with them as I have with, say, cakes. I love to bake. But I love to bake when I know I can do it well. I don't like to fail. So, I need you to comment with your favorite (and most failproof) pie recipes. I'm making one a week through the rest of the year.

Updates will follow.

What I did this Summer (or...the Summer of the Finger) (or...Mommy's excuse to post a bunch of photos)

2008-08-31T14:21:00.001-06:00

apologies for the bad/cell phone quality of some of these photos--we work with what we have on hand

Where to start? Memorial Day (naturally): We attended a Baker family reunion, which was a lot of fun (in spite of the snoring, seriously, a host of those people need to see someone about a cpap machine). On our first evening there, Prima reached under a bed to get something, got her left pinky caught on the carpet (!?) and dislocated it. After an ER visit, a lot of x-rays and several doctor visits, a specialist finally figured out that she had a bone spur which the ligament stayed attached to and which got pulled loose during the injury. So she had surgery to remove the bone spur and a pin was inserted to keep the ligament in place for 6 weeks.

No getting wet during that time. Which, for us, meant not a lot of outside playing this summer. Summers in Utah are pretty brutal if you're outside and there's no water involved. So, instead we spent time at the shady zoo:

The moon:

Mars:

and The Children's Museum:

We also spent a lot of time at Sundance. mr. and I were thrilled to have the opportunity to act together in a full production for the first time in 12 years. We played Oberon and Titania in A Midsummer Night's Dream.

It was a wonderful adventure for the whole family. Prima and Seconda attended rehearsals with us, hung out with us and the other actors backstage during performances, and made a lot of friends in the process.

We did lose a couple of things this summer, namely, a house sale that seemed very solid.

And Seconda lost some teeth:

But, just a couple of weeks before school started, Prima got the pin removed from her finger:

So, the girls were able to take swim lessons (their favorite part of Summer) after all.

If I was a praying woman

2008-08-28T10:05:00.001-06:00

I would pray for these people. Instead, I hold them in my thoughts almost constantly. I don't know them. But, I send my wishes to them that they will have a speedy recovery. That they will be with their dear children again soon. That they will be able to hold them in their arms and feel whole again.

In the meantime, I marvel at the power of the internet. Phooey to all you naysayers who thought it would be the downfall of our civilization. The internet as a community has built a cocoon around this family; a safety net of love and support and good wishes that is unlike anything I've ever seen. And we can all be part of it. Especially today. And here. I'm shirking my housewifely duties this morning to spend some time there. You should too.

Another Six

2008-08-19T10:31:00.000-06:00

Six years ago today this one came into the world:

It was one of the 3 most wonderful days of my life (I'm sure you can guess what the other two were). When I saw her for the first time, she was truly the baby I had always seen in my dreams, red hair and all! But she is far, far more than I ever expected that baby to be. I can't begin to describe how she has changed all of us. She is so full of energy and zest and openness towards the world and experiences and life. And is so unlike me or mr. or Prima in that way. She is exactly who we needed in our lives. It is amazing to watch her do things that I've always been too shy or too scared to do. And I wonder where she learned to do those things. She is bright in every way; intelligent, happy, and luminescent. A couple of years ago we were out shopping and I noticed that everyone who passed us smiled at us. I thought it was just because she's a cute kid. She told me later that afternoon, "I smile at people when they look at me and it makes them smile back." That is truly how this child lives her life; doing everything she can to make other people smile.

Our Flower now:

Pure joy.

Not a Tigger after all

2008-07-17T09:09:00.000-06:00

Call me self-centered. I thought I was the only April Fossen in the world. In fact, I had googlesearch evidence to back up that thought. No longer. A couple of days ago I got a Facebook message from "April Fossen". My first thought actually was, "Weird, I don't remember sending myself a message." (I'm a little bit cuckoo right now, it's the kind of thing I really would have done). But I went to the message and it wasn't me at all! It's a woman who I think lives in Canada and the only other thing I know about her without seeing her full profile is that she's "In a Relationship". But, with a name like that, she must be a terribly interesting person. Of course, she also thought she was the only April Fossen in the world. You'll see her there if you search for us on Facebook. It makes me wonder, how many more of me are there?

So, I googled myself again. Going through the links, mostly me, mostly me, mostly me, "fossenfamily.com" WHAT!! I'm pretty sure my husband feels the same way about family websites as we do about Christmas newsletters, so that can't be us. Nope. It's the bizarro us. Unfortunately (for them) in a part of their site entitled "pictures for grandparents" or something to that effect, they have a picture of one of their children and it's called "April Showers". I'm hoping these "grandparents" aren't net savvy, because if you google images for "April Showers Fossen", the first few results are...um...nude pictures of me. Not that I'm suggesting you do that, eyes burning etc., we've been over this.

Big apologies to all the Fossens in the world. Let alone all the April Fossens.

Disclaimer: Normally I would have included links to some of these gems for your entertainment, but, you know, privacy and all. People put the full names of their children on their public websites (*eyeroll*) and...you'll have to search for it yourself. I don't want to be responsible for linking you there.

Fatheractor

2008-06-27T19:57:00.000-06:00

Two weeks ago (so sue me, I'm behind on my blogging, it's a busy time), these two:

saw this one:

in this:

It was the first time they had seen their Daddy on stage. I wish you could have seen it too. If you've never seen him perform, I can't begin to describe it. He has so much presence and charisma and life and guts and sex appeal (and I don't say that just because I'm his wife) when he's on stage. It's awe-inspiring, literally, for me. I wish I could be the kind of actor he is. And he sang like I've never heard him in the 14 years I've known and loved him. Simply beautiful.

But more than his performance I wish you could have seen the joy in his face at having his daughters greet him after the show. Fans, theatre cohorts, and strangers were all in the lobby to shake hands and congratulate, but his eyes were only on those two beautiful girls, and the smile on his face was...sublime. Even more than I love to watch him act, I love to watch him in those Daddy moments when he's proud to be who he is, proud of the work he does, proud to be the father of those girls.

And, I, luckiest woman in the world, get to share the stage with him this summer.

SLAMmed for the third time

2008-05-19T10:00:00.000-06:00

We did it. It was a good year. Great, huge audience. Beautiful sets. Wonderful space. Fun cast. Somebody blogged about it.

It was also the book release party for "Plays From Behind the Zion Curtain", which made it extra exciting, because I'M IN A BOOK!

Still Falling

2008-05-02T10:26:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to my best friend/lover/husband!

I wish more than anything that I could take you to seem them live tonight. This seemed like the next best thing. I love you.

Brawny Blogger

2008-04-18T16:05:00.000-06:00

One of my nieces thinks that since I'm an exhibitionist, I might enjoy writing a self-absorbed blog post. Would I ever! I'm very self-absorbent. That's what this whole blog is about: me!
I'm messing with you Erin, it's all good.

But I'll consider myself tagged.

Tag Rules: List 5 facts or habits about yourself. At the end of the post, you must tag 5 people and post their names. Go to their blog and leave them a comment letting them know they have been tagged and to read your blog for more details.

5 facts about me:

1. I have recently, very recently, like 2 days ago, become addicted to Spider Solitaire. I don't know who told me about it, but whoever it was, I curse you.

2. I am done having children. You may have already known that. But sometimes I like to drive the point home for people who think it would be great for me to have another. Most of those people weren't around during my pregnancies.

3. I have a secret cougar crush on Zac Efron. Shhh...please don't tell him if you see him filming somewhere locally this month. I don't want him to be afraid of me if I end up as an extra on the set.

4. My passport expires on June 25th. I thought for sure I'd use it again after getting it for our honeymoon. No such luck.

5. When we went to see The Nutcracker in December I wore a pair of shoes that were a little too big. I had to use my toes to sort of grip to hold them on my feet. I think I've done permanent damage to my right foot because of this. Seriously. I think I'm going to have to see a podiatrist.

Tagged: Hailey, Kate, Julie, Jeremy, Skylar

Hiatus

2008-04-09T21:22:00.000-06:00

I'm taking a brief time-out from theatre while Mark does these:

Sordid Lives (sorry, I can't make their images act like images)

and

Both of which you should see.

I'm not calling it a dry-spell because I still have two one-time-only performances:

and

Which you should most definitely see. Click on any of the above for more information.

There may also be a Rocky Horror performance or two in the works. I'll post here if it happens.

Oh, and, I'm in an independent film that should premiere this summer: T.C.B.-The Conspiracies Bureau. Here is the trailer, which, I'm in.